as long as you care

vii. THIS WILL END

chapter seven,

this will end.

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[unedited] 7.

it wasn't until i numbly stepped foot into my school when i realized i hadn't finished my french homework.

in a daze, i searched through my bag, kneeling down in front of the office. people passed by me without a bat of an eye, heading to their classes. they couldn't be late, of course, the bell had already rang.

grabbing the worksheet and flipping to the last page, i searched hurriedly for a pencil. even though i hadn't read the question or fully understood it, i had to complete it. i can't get in trouble.

my heart was beating loudly, thrashing against my warm skin. i was stressed, so stressed; i was overwhelmed with such a terrible feeling.

there wasn't a pencil anywhere. i needed to find one, but my knees weren't as steady as they were when i first sat down. i started breathing heavily, weakly trying to get up.

i genuinely couldn't. my breathing became louder, each breath held a taunting laugh at my childish worry, and i placed my hands on my ears to make it quieter.

i couldn't decipher the difference between this will end or this is the end.

i didn't feel the hand on my knee, the voice asking me if i was okay; i didn't process the boy sat beside me, whispering just loud enough so i could hear it, "breathe slowly. focus on your breaths."

he placed a soft hand on my chest, feeling it rising and falling. "slower, muffin, slower."

overlapping his hand with mine, i tried to focus on that. i closed my eyes tightly, leaning on the wall behind me. i attempted to think of nothing. nothing was better than everything at once.

"what are you feeling?" he asked. that was a good question, because i couldn't pinpoint one emotion. there were too many.

"overwhelmed." i forced the word out of all the worry, repeating, "i'm — i'm scared-"

"of what?" gently, he talked. like he was afraid to hurt me. like he didn't want to break me.

my breathing quickened, and so did his reflexes, "hey, hey, it's okay. don't worry. you're safe here. no one is going to hurt you. it's just me, zak. you're okay."

"why're you —" i took a deep breath, trying to focus on my words, "you- late.. to your class?" i asked, because he was late. the bell rung a couple minutes ago.

"someone had to talk to me for a second." zak told, "i'm pretty sure it was your friend."

"clay?" i asked, calming down and focusing on our conversation. zak nodded, "yeah."

"what... what did he say?" i breathlessly asked, opening my eyes and looking at him. he looked amazing, just like he always did.

"oh," he paused, "nothing much. he asked how i was liking school here.. the casual."

i was on the edge. i couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not.

"okay.." i settled with, rubbing my eyes. i heard the announcements start to play, and that's when i noticed that people were watching us.

i looked up, and many teenagers were sat watching. some were whispering, some actually laughed, but that was before zak looked up. when he looked at them, they all pretended to be in their own conversations. i was baffled.

i was embarrassed, but i shouldn't have felt that. it felt like i had disappointed everyone. sure, vincent had warned me about people judging me and zak because of our numbers, but i never thought i'd actually face that problem. they basically just watched a society-sin.

why weren't they all in class? what?

glancing to my left, i saw zak's group of tens standing confused. "zak?" one of them called out.

"yeah?" zak replied, and i watched intently as the boy gestured to my number with his forehead, making a disgusted face. "what're you doing here?"

i was speechless. zak noticed, his cherry cheeks turning red, "i'm helping my friend?"

"look at his number, dude."

did he not notice i was sitting right here? maybe he knew that i wouldn't say something. i'm just a worthless zero who was too terrified to actually stand up for myself.

"and what about it?" zak replied, "i don't see anything wrong?" he slyly moved his hand over mine again, and that calmed me more than i'd like to admit.

"are you serious?" the boy asked, pointing up to his number, "we're tens. real tens. you're going for this kid? a boy? a zero?"

zak grew angrier, squeezing my hand tightly and leaning over, whispering, "this is for you, beautiful."

he stood up, asking, "does anyone have a tissue? anyone?"

one random girl handed him one, and he thanked her, spitting into the tissue. "sure, you're a ten, but that means nothing. do you want to know how i know that? how i know you all are lying, rude, and disgusting people? is because guess what," he paused, laughing bitterly, "you have all been sinning! this whole time! how funny is that!"

i was confused, but intrigued. i continued listening.

the group all looked the same as i did. zak looked over at me, "darryl —" he smiled, "darryl's the best person in this school. he has a brain. he always had a brain, even when he was royalty. he never treated anyone wrongly, or made them feel like they didn't belong. he uses the brain the way it was meant to be used. he is smart. but none of you guys would know that because you're too stuck up to realize that you're not as good as everyone says you are. you're weak! you're all weak! numbers mean absolutely nothing!"

he brought the tissue to his forehead, rubbing it harshly. i held my breath.

he took the tissue off, showcasing the black ink on the paper, and his '1' was smudged off.

all that remained was a zero. the same zero i had.

i covered my mouth. oh my god.

"what the hell?" the boy yelled, "you've been a fake?"

"i guess you're all sinners after all." zak shrugged, throwing the tissue at his face. zak leaned down, holding out his hand to help me out. i got up and he smiled again, "you all have been treating a zero like royalty. you all have sinned, but why use sinned? is it really that big of a deal? a number?"

he laughed again, pointing at his group, "i'd rather be a zero, than a ten. that's how toxic it is."

slowly, i watched as the boy's number ticked down to a five. it wasn't just his, either. the whole group's numbers were flipping lower than they had ever been. if i was speechless before, i don't know what i was now.

"come on, love. let's get to class."

zak held my hand tightly as he put my backpack on his back, storming away from the group. before leaving, he flipped them off, saying, "i never liked you guys, anyway."

he exposed himself to all of them. he showed his true self, along with complimenting me in front of them all.

he was like me. he wasn't a ten, but a zero.

i didn't think of him any differently than before. he was still that flirty boy that i adored so dearly.

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