as long as you care

viii. I LIKE YOU

chapter eight,

i like you.

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[unedited] 8.

"we should skip your first class." zak mentioned, "we're already ten minutes late. what class do you have now?"

how was he acting so chill? did he not remember what he just did?

"french." i sighed. his idea didn't seem terrible, because after what he had done, i was dying for some answers. some insight on how he faked his ten so easily. some confirmation on why he did all of that all, saying that it was for me.

why had he pretended to be a ten in the first place?

"oh, that's okay, right? we can head somewhere else for the next.. what.. fifty minutes?"

every time he talked to me, my eyes glanced up at his zero. it wasn't in a way of disgust, but a way of feeling proud. i didn't know his entire story; i don't know what he had gone through. all i knew was that being a zero was tough, and trying to categorize beauty like people have actually chosen to be born with their features, was stupid. we both have survived the judgement, even when he "was" a ten.

"sure." i nodded, trailing behind him. as we speed-walked to the changing rooms, zak told me, "i have a question, cutie."

"okay," i nervously replied, trying my best to hold a poker face. zak smiled, "okay. hear me out on this, y'know society .. stereotypes .. everything, yeah?"

"yeah."

"well, the numbers on our heads, how are they determined?"

"by looks." i said, hoping i didn't sound stupid.

comfortingly, he winked, "exactly. what are the features of someone that is supposedly" he held up finger quotations, "a zero."

i cleared my throat, "brown hair and brown eyes." which was also stupid, because i thought the two were beautiful. just like any combination.

"let that sit," zak said mysteriously, pinching my cheek, "beautiful."

he gave me a riddle. something i was too oblivious to figure out.

i'll prove clay wrong. i'll be smart about this situation. i'll take notice of my surroundings and process every word like they all mattered.

brown hair, brown eyes. he had the set. was that his way of proving to me he was a zero? did he think i didn't believe him?

"you have them both." i thought aloud, "not saying they're bad, obviously. they're beautiful.." i bit the inside of my cheek, growing unnoticed to zak's rose face.

"don't overthink it too much." zak reassured, dragging me into the sweaty changing rooms.

ew, i thought. i hated enclosed spaces like these. the air quickly turns dry, unwashed clothes thrown around, and the smell.. god, the smell.

"yuck." i complained, scrunching my face up at random socks i saw. basic hygiene, c'mon.

"i know, love, but where else will we go?" zak asked.

we could go to the washrooms, but that might even be worse. the thought of all the germs sat on the floor, it writhing on the door handle and protruding out of the stall doors, absolutely turned me off.

"i like here." no, i didn't, but i liked being with him, and that was all that mattered.

"okay, we'll stay here." zak smiled, cheerfully skipping around, "honey?"

"yeah?"

"i have another question, but don't worry, it won't be like the other one." he explained, motioning for me to sit beside him. i obliged, making sure none of my skin touched the bench.

although i'd never saw him show the emotion, i'm pretty sure that he was nervous.

"do you think of me any differently?

i processed the question, "differently can mean many things." i reminded him, "but yeah, i do. not in the way you think, though."

"then what way?" he asked timidly. he was scared for what i was about to say. i could tell in his shaky eyes.

i never lied to zak, at least tried not to. i couldn't lie to him now, but i was afraid to tell him the truth.

he noticed my hesitance, "it's a bad way, right?"

"no," i shook my head, nervously giggling, "the opposite."

"i don't understand.." he trailed, and i sighed, "don't make me say it."

"say what?"

"i like you!" i exclaimed, "okay, there! i said it! i always have.." i looked down to my lap, fidgeting with my fingers, "..found you attractive and stuff.. so obviously i won't think of you any differently than i did before. i just think of you in a different way than others would. because i like you." i breathed in, "feel free to like — leave, or something, if you're disgusted, which i hope you're not. i'm not crazy.. i don't think. i don't know. i'm gay, too, i guess that's implied.. right? god, i'm a mess. i apologize." i rambled, not daring to look at him.

zak smiled — teeth and everything — saying, "you're the cutest, darryl. absolutely adorable."

"thank you." it was the first time i thanked him, but i felt that it was needed. he always made me feel good inside. honey, cutie, muffin, whatever name he would call me always had an impact. "i like those names." i admitted, not holding back, "they make me feel special."

"i know, love." zak placed his hand on my cheek, lifting my chin up. he didn't say anything, his perfect face contently smiling. i smiled back. he was contagious.

"i like you too." finally, zak said.

the sweaty aura had morphed into a field of flowers, a scent of nature. there were roses growing passionately within the ground, butterflies swirling and flaring everywhere except outside my body, and the sun, a beautiful, large, rotation sun, glowing brightly and warming every heart.

he was the sun.

it didn't matter his number, he'd always be the reason why the earth rotated; the reason why my heart felt warm, and he'd always be responsible for making me believe that even with my crucial number and society telling me otherwise, that i was an exception. that i was meant to roam this planet, and i was who i was.

in the short amount of time i'd known him, he'd taught me to embrace my differences. to grow past the box and break the normality of being perfect. because no one was perfect. no one would ever be perfect in a world full of misconceptions.

right now, nothing else mattered but him. who cared what vincent thought, who cared what anybody thought, who cares what the world would throw at me.

because now, i had a reason to fight back. for the both of us.

"can i ask you a question, now?" i wondered, his hand falling down to my lap. i held it in my own.

he nodded, "of course, love."

"why'd you fake your number?"

zak held my hand tighter, explaining, "to carry someone's legacy."

and i decided that was enough.

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