What We Seek

Part 6

Chapter Six

The bellhop, whose name turned out to be Steven, led us to our room. The cheapest opening they had was one with one Queen size bed and bathroom with no TV or microwave. We agreed it would do for the night, ending the transaction by me using my travel card. Eddie was torn and exhausted, so I led him along while Steven the bellhop led our bags on his cart. We reached the room, he helped me unload our stuff, and then wished us a nice stay. I thanked him, gave him a fifty as a tip, and then closed our door gently. I saw that Eddie was just sitting in the bed, staring straight ahead at his bare feet.

Everything that has happened is insane. We fought a clown last night and this morning, ending with me passing out and scaring him senseless. I confessed my love for him before noon, we left the Losers, and started driving

"Hey, Eds, do you need to get a shower? I know it's been a long, horrible day, but I feel like you might enjoy feeling clean."

"Richie, did we bring the letters in?"

"The letters?"

"The ones I had hidden in the living room wall."

"Oh, yeah, they are in my pocket actually."

I took them out and looked at his handwriting through the plastic bag he had used to protect them.

"I want to read you them. Come sit here with me, please, Rich?"

"Of course, Eddie Spaghetti."
I slipped off my shoes, moving into the bed to where I was laying next to him. It seemed very exciting and new for me, but I also felt nostalgic. We used to sneak to each other's houses for sleepovers when we were teens. He'd always sleep in my bed with me and I'd sleep in his with him. Now we were finally adults, meaning that sharing a bed was a much bigger deal and could lead us to different places.

Not the time, Richie. He clearly has to share something important now, so no flirting or sexual stuff until he is ready. You got him to agree to stay with you in Cali, so who needs to rush?

He started to read the first letter in a slow, small voice.

"September of five years ago. 'I have no idea why I am writing this letter. I know that my wife is asleep in our bed and that I should have stayed in there with her after the activity we have done tonight, but I feel like I have done something wrong. An overwhelming sense of loneliness and loss hit me when I reached my first climax in her. The concept of writing this down disgusts me but it felt significant to this story. I left her there now because I see a boy in my head. He is taller than I was when I was a child, but he's still not that tall. His eyes are dark with large, thick-framed glasses on his face. The grey shirt he wears says something I can't read, but the letters are red and white. A Hawaiian button up is open over the shirt. His shorts are simple and I can't see his shoes. He stands in a stream of water, looking at me. I don't know why this image was so vivid, because I only saw it for a split second. I wonder why this mystery kid is in my head. I hope he isn't a vision of my future, because I don't really want kids with Myra.'"

He switches to a new letter.

"September of four years ago. 'I saw the boy again tonight. I was sitting in the office working when I felt this pain in my hand and I saw him again. He was closer to me this time, with his dark hair curling around in such a random way. I felt like I knew him. I wanted to call his name but I have no idea what it is. He smiled at me; a warmth spread through my body as he did. I feel like Myra wouldn't know him or understand me for trying to tell her, so I think I'll hide this letter with the other one in my drawer.'"
Another letter was pulled from the bag.