sugar daddy * baekhyun x chanyeol

Thirty

Baekhyun was having a bad day.

Chanyeol had been weird the night before, acting nervous and distracted, and it was making Baekhyun nervous. He had always had a feeling deep down that this would only be temporary. Things were too good to be true. He lost count of how many times he thought Chanyeol was going say something last night but didn't and when they got into bed for a brief moment Baekhyun thought Chanyeol was going to put his arms around him. But it didn't happen and as he drifted off to sleep he wondered how much of the night was real and how much had occurred in his imagination. Was Chanyeol really trying to scoot a little closer to him in the bed or was it just a figment of Baekhyun's sad imagination?

He'd woken alone at 4am and found a stack of fresh pancakes next to his bedside lamp. They were still warm and dotted with little flecks of berries. Chanyeol knew the texture of the fruit would make Baekhyun feel sick if he had to chew it so he'd spent the time chopping the blueberries and strawberries up small enough to be imperceptible in the fluffy pancakes. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol wouldn't quit with his insistence that he eat more fruit because he wanted the babies to like fruit and he had this weird idea that whatever Baekhyun ate the babies would have a taste for.

For the first time in ages, Baekhyun didn't get up and rush to the bathroom. His stomach behaved itself while he picked slowly at the pancakes and sipped his lemon ginger tea. He didn't know how he could even be hungry after the pumpkin soup and homemade flatbreads Chanyeol had served up to him the night before. He smiled to himself as he kicked his legs around under the sheets and enjoyed his breakfast. He felt great with a good sleep on a full tummy and he suddenly realised he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe things would get better.

The great morning quickly turned sour when Baekhyun, freshly showered, realised he couldn't button his suit pants. He tried pair after pair but somehow overnight the roundness of his stomach had increased just enough to make every pair of pants he owned too small. Baekhyun's past came rushing into his present as he cursed himself for eating so much at dinner the night before. If he hadn't eaten so much soup he would be buttoning his trousers and putting his shoes on. Instead he was sitting on his bed in a shirt, socks, and his underpants with tears streaming down his cheeks feeling fat and disgusting and miserable.

His brain fought with itself as he tried to get his shit together. His conscious mind knew this was going to happen, that he had to get bigger to grow his healthy babies, but his subconscious threw every insecurity he'd ever had into the corners of his brain. As he sat on his bed, shivering and shaking, all he could think of was how much he wished Chanyeol was there in that moment. Somehow he would know exactly what to say and do to quiet the demons in Baekhyun's mind. But with Chanyeol already acting weird the last thing he wanted to do was burden him anymore.

He swallowed his pride and tried the pants again but they wouldn't button no matter how hard he pulled at the waistband.

His past whispered in his ear that he was too fat, too jiggly and too squishy, that he was gross and unattractive. In his mind the little roll of loose skin poking out over the pants was a thick roll of fat that he was going to be stuck with forever. And it was this unattractive mountain of flesh which was going to drive Chanyeol away and into the arms of some perfect person with a fit hard body and a more energetic disposition. Someone who could be the kind of partner Baekhyun knew Chanyeol deserved.

He'd struggled through it all. The early days alone and scared, the sickness that forced him into the hospital, the overwhelming fear of telling Chanyeol about his pregnancy. But this time he just couldn't do it. Baekhyun fell apart.