Before I Let You Go || Seonghwa x reader✓

5

Chapter 5 - Found out

I brought over some clothes for this sleepover.

Yeah. I call spending the night at my own boyfriend's house a fucking sleepover.

You would usually use that name if you were sleeping over at a friend's house, not your boyfriend's. But that's just me personally. I've grown unattached to his bedroom.

But it didn't matter right now. What did matter, however, was the fact that he wanted me to come over for the night.

He seemed a little nicer when it was suggested, thankfully.

I should be happy. This is progress, right?

Maybe he realized what he was doing. Maybe he wants me again...?

But I can't muster up the strength to even show any hint of happiness. While I sit here, at his dinner table, alone with my own boyfriend, it's quiet.

We aren't even saying anything to each other as we eat.

The silence that we both emit blend in smoothly with the rest of the house. It's like we became one with his house. Still, silent, and slowly aging.

Seongwha suddenly pushes his plate away from his body and stands up, stretching out his arms and yawns with exhaustion. "I'm gonna head to bed. Come up when you're done." Then he does something that surprises me: he goes around the table and gives me a peck on the top of my head.

My heart pounds viciously as I watch him walk away with normal strides and up the stairs. I hate how my heart mimics the effect of the first stages of our relationship. Because I can't even fucking remember the last time my heart did that when I was with him.

So what?

He does want me?

For sex? When's the last time he wanted me in that way?

I sit at the table longer than needed, just thinking about that.

And when I get out of my stupor, I expect him to be awake, waiting for me.

But no.

He's knocked out and snoring.

The hope that had risen in my chest vanished the second I saw his limp body.

With a disappointed sigh, I head to his bathroom and change into some night clothes.

The meeting between his mattress and my body is bittersweet. It shared a lot of memories with me, but it's acting as distant as Seonghwa.

As hours go by, there is nothing remotely comforting about his room. I'm not sleepy. I want to cry. So I turn on my side, away from looking at this man because I might just breakdown.

But then, I do something I thought I'd never do.

Why do I do this? I don't know.

I don't like girlfriend's that are like this.

I don't want to be that kind of girlfriend.

Because I trust him.

Yet he's given me signs and multiple reasons that maybe that's not true.

So maybe that's why I grab his phone, head downstairs, and unlock it to see if I can unveil secrets.

...

And at this ungodly hour of the night, I'm sobbing on his couch, having a quiet anxiety attack over what I saw.

You know how they say ignorance is bliss?

Yeah.

It really is.

Seongwha has been cheating. For at the very least 6 months. And with who? I have no idea. He, nor the side whore, say her name.

But he gave her a pet name: "Babygirl💞"

That's her contact name.

What's mine? Just "Y/n"

She was his most recent text.

I'm the sixth one down the line.

I should leave. I should break up with him right now. I'm not a priority to him. He doesn't want me.
But I delete all the evidence of a snooper, put his phone back where it belongs, and lay my body next to his.

I was so stupid.

I had my fucking answer. He's a cheater.

Why stay with that? What did I achieve by hurting myself?

The reason I hurt right now is because of my first mistake. And what was that mistake?

Ohhh, that's right: I wanted him to change and realize that I was the one. That he would come to his senses and realize his own futile mistakes.

Yet one thing kept circling in my mind as I laid in that bed with you, trembling and shaking.

If I let you go. Right now. Will you regret what you had done to me? Will you realize that it should have always been just us? Or will you forget about me entirely?