Before I Let You Go || Seonghwa x reader✓

9

Chapter 9 - Don't look at me

He actually got in touch with me today, asking to hang out at his place and order take out.

Stupidly, I said yes, lowkey missing him. In the back of my mind, I was hoping he had time to think about his actions after the almost two weeks long break we had.

He seemed shifty when we spoke.

So I really thought he was gonna tell me.

But throughout the whole day I spent with him, the hope boiled down into a hallow shell of nothing.

He had nothing of worth to say. He still doesn't, even as we sit here together watching a movie.

Seonghwa is acting different, though. He's talking to me more now - this time with more personality rather than being annoyed - however, he avoids my eyes entirely.

I don't care though.

It easier to cope with the situation since I'm not looking at him straight on.

"Should I bust out the scotch? Perhaps wine?" He suggests out of no where.

I shrug, not taking my eyes off the screen. "If you want but I'm not in the mood to have any."

"Oh..."

A few moments go on before he suggests something else.

"How about we make milkshakes? I know you like those."

I frown. No, not really. I prefer smoothies and, hell, actual icecream over a damn milkshake. Sure, Ill have one every once in a while, but it'll always be my last choice.

He should know that.

I thought he knew that.

It just made me grow all the more upset. "No." I reply with some sharpness. And it doesn't go unnoticed.

I'm not even looking at him, yet I can feel the frustration radiating off of him like UV rays from the sun. But then a lightbulb ignites above his head.

He waits a few moments before snaking an arm behind and around me, leaning his face in my neck. He takes a deep inhale, then releases his hot breath against my skin before attacking it with a wet kiss.

My eyes flutter in pleasure at the mere feeling, but I remind myself of the potential outcome after what could happen tonight.

I don't want to feel the same sense of regret like I did last time.

I don't want to feel dirty like a used second choice.

"Seonghwa." I whisper, but he misheard it as a plea to keep going. He pushes me down and slides his hands underneath my shirt, resulting in goosebumps to form throughout my body.

I purse my lips, trying not to cave into this man's touch. "Seonghwa, no."

He doesn't stop. It's like he doesn't hear me at all.

Instead of words, I use my hands to push him off. He grunts in disapproval, looking down at me with lustful eyes.

I sit up, causing him to move back more. "Seonghwa...I'm just not in the mood tonight."

"I could get you in the mood. I always do."

I sigh. "Don't push it, please. I'll leave if you do."

Something flashes across his brown orbs, but I can't quite tell what emotions lie with it. All I know is that he's frustrated. Even more now.

He pauses the movie and shifts his body to face me head on. The eerie silence booms loudly in his home. I let out an annoyed sigh.

"What the hell is up your ass?" He barks.

"Me? Just because I don't want to have sex I'm at fault here?" My eyes are wide in disbelief. Is he fucking serious.

"No, it's not that. It's everything. You barely say two words to me, I'm the one initiating conversations while you end up shutting them down completely, you won't even look at me. What the fuck is going on?" He's livid.

And the audacity for him to come after me. Me. After the shit he's done? Fuck him.

"I don't know Seonghwa. What is going on? Hm??" I give him the nastiest glare ever and use his words against him, and he's surprised to see my offensive disposition.

He almost looks worried. Maybe he's worried I know what he did.

I'm giving him a chance.

Right here, right now.

"I don't know. You tell me." He counters.

"So what? Are we just gonna sit here and argue over why I'm in a pissy mood?"

Say it.

"You started it with your attitude."

"Don't pin this on me, no means no and I just happen to not want to do anything right now other than watch a movie. But now I'm not sure if I'm even interested in that."

Admit it.

"I wanted to spend the day with my girlfriend since we haven't done anything special in a while. I didn't want to spend my day off alone, I wanted you. Not a heinous bitch."

Ouch. That one hurt more than the argument as a whole. That probably hurt more than me finding out he cheated. He's never called me that. Ever.

I'm not the only one shocked. He is too. His face is full of regret while I just gaze at him with a blank expression.

"Baby..." Ahhh, there it is. My special pet name that hasn't been used in months. What a time to use it, eh? Well it isn't making the situation better, Seonghwa.

The way my chest and stomach feel empty and uncomfortable to even breathe, it makes it hard for me to even cry in front of him.

I almost feel numb as a whole.

I purse my lips and nod slowly.

"Shit..." I hear him mutter, this word drenched in regret.

I stand up.

"No, wait, Y/n..." He calls out softly, the total opposite of just a few minutes ago. He's on his feet but doesn't follow me. Seonghwa just watches.

I grab my bag.

And I walk out.

I thought you'd make me feel important.

You did at one point.

But what you called me here is something that tore me to pieces when I got home.

So fuck you.