The Gods of Song and Poetry

Chapter 29 - A True Romantic

Chapter 29 - A True Romantic

Kelly's mouth was a straight line and her eyes were glancing back and forth from me to Kala. She took one look at my face, though, and her expression softened with concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked, taking my hand. I looked at her hand in mine. Apparently she forgot we were supposed to be secretive. I smiled at her.

"Come on, let's dance the last couple of dances and I'll tell you."

They usually ended the dances with three or four slow songs in a row. Since there were about fifteen minutes left, I guessed they had just started the first one. We took our place on the dance floor, and I put my arms on Kelly's bare shoulders. She put her arms around my torso, so her hands were on my bare back. There was a lot of skin-to-skin contact for a public arena. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little rush out of that. "My date's hotter than yours is," I thought as loudly as I could at the crowd swaying around us.

"Were you and Kala fighting?" Kelly asked, bringing me back to the moment.

"Yeah. I was being stupid and caused fights with both Kristy and Kala. It's okay now. I begged them both to forgive me. They did."

"What was it all about?"

"It all started when Kristy said...Kelly? Can I ask you something?"

"Why? Was it about me?" She looked at me with wide eyes and her lips parted slightly.

"No. Well, sort of. I'll explain, I promise."

"Okay," she said hesitantly.

"It's nothing bad, I swear. You know how people say some girls have 'daddy issues'?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think...and I wasn't wondering this, someone else was...do you think you could have...'mommy issues?' Because, and this was just a thought somebody else had, maybe since you wanted so badly to get along with your mom, that maybe you liked me because I'm older, kind of acted like a mom when you first met me...I'm not saying this very well. Let me start again."

"No, it's okay. I see what you're saying." Kelly looked thoughtful for a moment. "Huh, I dunno, maybe," she looked at me nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders.

That was definitely not one of the reactions I had prepared for. I thought maybe she'd be angry, insulted, sad...anything but blasé.

"You mean, you think it's possible?" I felt my chest tighten up. I'd been through so many strong, negative emotions in the last forty-five minutes or so, I couldn't handle my girlfriend telling me she just might only be interested in me as a 'mommy' replacement. Kelly looked confused by the strong reaction that was written on my face.

"Ani, every time I look at you, I feel like I'm learning new things about myself, and I love that. You make me feel all sorts of things. Maybe I'm just older now, so I'm able to think and feel a little more deeply. Maybe I've been hurt before, so I pay more attention to my feelings. I don't have a clue. But what I do know, is that you are so smart, so beautiful, so caring, and so passionate, that I want very badly to be the perfect girl for you. Maybe some small part of me feels like it needs my mom's approval, and I'm trying to substitute yours. I don't know. If that's true, though, it's just a small part, and I would want your approval anyway."

Kelly saw that she had me smiling again, and that made her smile. She continued, "So, if someone who knows me thinks I might have 'mommy issues,' then I should think about that, right? I mean, I'm trying to make sure I don't do things for the wrong reasons anymore, and that would be a good thing to know about myself. After all, the unexamined life is not worth living, right?"