SHIELD [Book 1 of Alex & Allie Save The World]

Chapter 18 Clusterfuck

Allie Two is dangling from the banister by one vector and using the other to dump a bag of glitter into the air. Allie Three is dancing on the ground beneath the banister and singing an off-key mashup of Taylor Swift songs.

The ground is littered with candy wrappers and empty cans of Dr. Pepper along with evidence of a huge delivery of desserts. They both appear to be wearing brand new ballgowns and tiaras as well as scarily realistic fairy wings. A larger than life stuffed rabbit sits by the stairs with a life-size Iron Man robot.

The second the door shuts behind them Allie Two and Allie Three freeze and gape at the two party crashers; they've been caught glitter handed.

"I knew I shouldn't have locked my credit card information with a fingerprint ID," Allie utters as she observes the Allison Gray dreamland before her.

"Holy fuck, Allie" Alex swears. "Holy fuck, just holy fuck."

"Oh my fucking God," Allie breathes out.

"Allie, how did this happen?" Alex asks, her eyes still on the doubles.

"I focused on work today, I guess my subconscious desires and impulses took over," Allie replies and bites her lip. "At least no one is bleeding."

Right on cue Allie Two falls from the banister and onto Allie Three.

"That seems about right," Alex mutters and rubs her temples.

"I'll hide the girls and call the cleaners," Allie volunteers.

"Allie, glitter is the herpes of craft supplies! We'll have glitter in our house for centuries now," Alex whines. "God fucking dammit. What do we do now? How will we ever leave the house?! It's not like we can hire a babysitter or lock them in cages."

The doubles fumble in the trains of their long dresses for a moment before getting to their feet and scrambling to hug Alex and Allie.

"Welcome home!" they exclaim. Allie and Alex share an exasperated glance before Alex untangles herself from Allie Two and exhales deeply, staring up at the ceiling and questioning everything.

"I bet nothing like this ever happens at Wayne's place," Alex groans. "Why couldn't I be a single brooding vigilante?"

"You love me too much," the Allies supply.

"Though that does give me an interesting idea," Allison remarks.

"Tell me it's an idea about how to keep track of your childish doppelgangers every day."

"I don't know, Alex. Do we know of any butlers dying for grandkids, who also know our little secret, and would be willing to look after two adult-bodied baby Allies?"  Allie leads and Alex raises an eyebrow, tilting her head back down to a normal level.

"That might work," Alex comments. "Yeah, yeah, I'll call him." Alexandra Aldridge stalks away, not wanting to witness the utterly glamorous carnage. "I swear to God if there is glitter in my room..." Alex trails off, unsure of what exactly to threaten. "Gah! Fuck!" The next thing Allie hears is stomping footsteps followed by more cursing.

"Please tell me you guys didn't glitter her room."

"Course we didn't," they deny, smiling too cutely to be telling the whole truth.

"What did you do?"

"We bought Alex a replica of all the swords used in Lord of the Rings! And they're sharp!"

"Aw guys, that's sweet," Allison Gray coos. "I guess Alex is so important to me that even subconsciously I want to make her happy."

"You have a sword too, it's Sting," Allie Two adds and Allison Gray claps.

"You're forgiven for making this huge mess and spending what I assume couldn't be less than five thousand dollars," Original Allie pronounces and propels herself forward down the hall. The house should be cleaned before Alex has to see it again.

III

"Ms. Aldridge, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" Alex sighs at Alfred's usual greeting, the man is always so polite. Alex cannot imagine ever snapping at him in anger.

"Not pleasure, Alfred, more like a tornado of chaos," Alex mutters. "I was wondering how busy your days have been lately?"

"Not very but I find ways to keep myself occupied. Why do you ask?"

"Because Allie and I came home to a glitter explosion today," Alex deadpans. "Turns out Allie's doubles behave like unsupervised toddlers with limitless credit." Alex barely hears a snort of laughter, Alfred us trying to muffle it to be polite but Alex can still hear.

"What have they done?"

"Went on a sugar filled glitter binge combined with designer dresses, crowns, Dr. Pepper, an Iron Man robot, and a fucking gigantic stuffed rabbbit," Alex describes, the very thought almost making her launch into another litany of curses. "They have full grown bodies and underdeveloped brains somehow."

"Well based on Ms. Gray's recount of her multiplying it seems the bodies copied from her but her their brains didn't. Brains are an entirely different organ, I imagine cloning them exactly is impossible so the doubles get the next best thing: the base functions and personality of Allie's brain with a blueprint for them to develop themselves."

"Whatever it is, the point I'm getting to is that Allie and I have twin toddlers or pre-teens and we need a sitter."

III

An hour later the house is as clean as it can possibly get, all purchases items are stowed away in Allie's wing, and Alex is happily sharpening her new weaponry.

An arrangement was struck with Alfred, the butler will keep an eye on the girls during the day and in exchange they'll help him around the house and allow him to tutor them. Alfred has a knack for teaching and wants to share his knowledge with developing minds.

For now all is peaceful and steady again.

III Tuesday III

The next day at work is nearly as eventful as the first, with interviews and damage control and time recovery. A special magazine is planned to be released at the end of the month in memoriam of the Metropolis attack.

But for today, Allison Gray must tell her story of that day and look upon the photos.