Black Water Rose

Untitled

I feel as if all I have ever done is struggle 

I always seem to go and have to make the same mistake over and over again until I have fucked it up in every way possible 

I recently have felt as if I am at rock bottom 

I am struggling not to relapse 

I'm trying to find every possible reason not to kill myself

I'm just tired 

Mentally and physically 

I have always strived to do my best, to become the greatest version of myself

But

Since a young age, I have never really seen myself making it this far

As I am getting older that image is becoming more and more stretched out 

I feel like I'm suffocating on making decisions that will lock me in 

I want to do good 

I want to be appreciated 

I want to live. . . and all I'm doing right now is existing