Creepypasta OC Reviews ➼ [CLOSED]

1 - Kaleb Rana Kaminski

this review is for: @mionepotterr
thank you for being my first request! let's get right into it.

Off the bat, I like the name. Though it's pretty long, which is common among Creepypasta OCs, it has a unique feel to it while not being too over-the-top. Nice job on picking a Polish last name too; it makes your character a lot more believable. I googled "Kaleb" and "Rana", the former being of Hebrew origin and the latter of Arabic. While it's fine to pick names simply because you think they're pretty, be careful with mixing in too many ethnicities that don't match up with the parents'. For example, it'd be strange for two entirely Italian parents to name their child something uniquely Russian. (Kaleb could be a play on 'Caleb', though, and that's a widely-used name.)

Taking into account the year is around present time, he'd be in his early twenties, which is cool! You don't see too many CP OCs past their teens. Same for the sexuality: lots of bisexual girls around, but not so many guys. Nice!

Habits is where I'm getting a bit confused. What prompts him to claw at his neck when he's sad? To me, that seems like more of a thing to do when angry, frustrated, nervous or perhaps even contemplative. Would like a little further elaboration. (Is it part of a mental illness?)

Hobbies seem fine, maybe a bit much overall even for his pushy parents but not a major problem. I like how you transferred the skills he gained from doing all that into the present!

The catatonia only starting to show signs during his mid-teen years is common for illnesses, and him having a hereditary one is realistic too! Plus points. Some notes though: be careful when actually writing about these, as disorders and such are often easy to misrepresent and it could come off as offensive to people who actually have to struggle with them every day.

The likes are pretty interesting, but it'd be nice to have some explanation about them. Doing and getting tattoos, for example, seems like something his parents would've never allowed. How did those hobbies develop? Dancing and fighting matches up. (Carving into skin?)

All his dislikes seem to fit him as well, though I'm confused about disliking "people in general". He dislikes them but also obsesses over some?

Here again with loving to "show his hidden love to his only loved ones"; if he dislikes people in general, what causes him to behave this way? He doesn't seem like a very mushy character. I like that you included your friend's OC as his best friend though! Nowadays you see way too many OCs just having relationships with "canon" characters; this is a nice refresher.

I really like how you made the "what do they hate" section coincide with the "phobias" one. Makes sense how he has a fear of loss and tries to do everything possible to prevent that from happening. No complaints. (And hotdogs is pretty quirky, too.)