Stronger than the Rest

Chapter 18 | Oops?

"You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with." -- Gillian Anderson

-----------------------------------------

As we approach Landon's doorstep, I start to have second thoughts about my impulsive decision to see him. Megan has stayed quiet most of the walk there though I can feel her mind racing a mile a minute. I appreciate her just letting me figure out what I want in this moment rather than giving me the third degree. 

Right before I lift up my hand to ring the door bell, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I check who is calling me. For a second, I hope that my mom is calling to talk -- or say happy birthday in the least. Megan can hear the buzzing and asks, "Who is it?"

I am flooded with guilt when I see Joseph's name pop up on my screen -- because in that instant I have no desire, or intention, of talking to him today. I quickly reject the call and mummer Joseph's name to Megan. I don't even have to look at her to know her eyes shot up to her hairline seeing me rejecting the call.

I finally knocked on Landon's door -- my pulse starts racing and my face floods with red. I can HEAR Megan's smirk when she looks at my face. 

"Sucker," Megan says under her breath. I whipped my head around to look at her, "What did you just say?"

But she was cut out by the opening of the door. Derek stood at the door frame, obviously surprised to see Megan and I there.

"Rose? What are you doing here? I thought you were pissed at Landon." Megan and I strode past Derek to Landon's basement -- where they usually hang out. "When am I not pissed at him?"

I can hear Derek chuckle behind Megan and I and saying," Good point."

Once we reach the end of the stairs into the basement, I see his sectional, parent's bar, ping-pong table, and TV that is currently showing Nathan playing Mass Effect: Legendary Edition. I see the back of Landon's head and Madison curled up next to me.

Oh, why did I forget about her? Oh, well.

Derek strides past us to the bar, "You two want anything?" Megan perks up instantly to ask him what he has in stock. "Mostly basic liquors, mixers, water, and sodas if you don't want alcohol." 

"Cool, I'll take a vodka and yellow red bull if you have any." At the sound of my voice, Landon whipped his head around and finally noticed our presence. Madison reacted to Landon's sudden movement and offered a smile while she looked at us. 

Landon, however, was completely shocked. "Rose, what are you guys doing here?" My face flushed red and I was instantly aware of the dried tears on my face I haven't had a chance to wipe off. "Uhm." I felt nervous to state the truth, but I felt like I should tell them the truth since I was intruding on their hangout session. And especially since I first rejected their offer to hangout with me on my birthday before Landon and I got into our argument earlier. 

Everyone's eyes were on mine. Except Megan. Megan was already halfway through her cocktail Derek made her. 

"My birthday is not a fun day for me and I didn't want to be alone." The look on Landon's face completely soften and his eyes went from a dark forest to a swirling emerald pool. (Whatever that means). A shadow of a smile flashes on his face, "Well, I'm glad you both are here. Make yourself at home." I offered a smile back. I check Madison's confused gaze at Landon before she looks at me, "Happy Birthday, Rosalie."

I grab the drink that Derek is handing over to me, while shamelessly looking at Megan, and go to sit next to Nathan who has yet to acknowledge anyone else's presence. I see that he is currently playing ME1 on the Legendary Edition. The geth keep kicking his ass over and over. 

"Are you playing on insanity?" I ask him while I sit down next to him.

The next thing I know, the controller goes flying across the room and Nathan lets out the highest pitch scream I have ever heard. I glance at him quickly and he looks absolutely terrified.

Everyone is quiet for a few seconds before I decide to break the silence, "Uhm, you good, bro?"

Nathan, attempting to restart his breathing, says quietly, "I had no idea you were here. You screamed the SHIT out of me." Everyone bursts into laughter as he grumbles as he goes to retrieve the controller. 

I rest myself on backrest of the couch, sip my drink, and enjoy being around people for my birthday for the first time in two years. 

** Later that night **

By 10pm, Gabby ended up joining us and had convinced everyone to play Just Dance. I am currently watching Landon, Derek, and Nathan dance their tipsy heart out to Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls. 

Gabby, Megan, and I were laughing so hard our stomach were aching. This had truly been a great distraction for me. Multiple times throughout the night the flashbacks were on the verge of overcoming my distractions -- but Gabby or Megan were always there to squeeze my hand to bring me back to the present. 

I cringe inwardly -- he present.

It's so fucking painful to be alive, to be having fun, and making friends. The guilt of being alive almost kills me everyday. 

I shake my head, Going down the wrong path, right now, Rose.

"You okay?" I look up into those emerald eyes to see a sad smile on Landon's face while I'm sitting on the stool in the corner of the room as everyone starts saying their goodbyes. Madison went upstairs to pee or sleep or leave -- I really don't remember what she was doing. I take the last swig of my vodka red bull as I stand up. 

"Yeah, I'm doing good. Thanks for letting me come over. It really meant a lot to me." 

"Anytime, Petals." Landon smiles softly while searching my eyes for something. I look down quickly before he finds what he's looking for.

"Hey, Petals?" Landon asks.

"Yes?"

"What happened to you and on which birthday?" My head snaps up to meet his eyes. I know the moment our eyes met he got his confirmation. I could deny it. But he's know something happened. His eyes flick to the spot on my torso which my tattoo -- my scar -- resides. It starts to burn under his gaze. 

I sigh, "Landon, plea-."

Suddenly I feel an arm wrap around my neck and a whiff of vodka. "Hey, stop mind-fucking my bestie, Lan." I stop short and Landon's face freezes in shock. I look over to my drunk Megan and flick her between the eyes - gently. 

"How many of those have you had?"

"I've never been good at math." She replies.

I rolled my eyes as Gabby comes up next and grabs Megan. "I'll start walking her towards your house, Rose."

"Thanks, Gabs." I turn back to Landon with a smirk.

"Mind-fucking, huh?"

Landon scoffs, "Oh, you believe the drunk girl?"

"Yep." My smirk widens when he sighs and crosses his arms. "Too bad you have a girlfriend." A wink and blow a kiss as I walk away.

I didn't mean that,, I just wanted to get a rise out of Landon. As I looked back I saw I did just that. Then my eyes flick over to Derek and see a flash of anger in his eyes.

Fuck.

Is it bad I forgot about our thing?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know how I haven't written in two years? Yeah, oops.

- jewel