Us In Red | Gini

Six

I like the spotlight. For a long time, I didn't. That was back when I believed it was there to single me out, to highlight any small mistake I made. It took me a while to understand that it's not there to do that. It's there to support me. It's there to help me do what I love by making my talent visible to the rest of the world. Every once in a while, I wonder who made the first spotlight, and if they were desperate for attention, or if they just wanted a way to wash out the world to let the actor be the only moving gear in place, the most important piece of the moment. Maybe they did it for the same reason Ricky shone his phone light on me during my first audition, and I shone mine on him during opening night. It was to let him know that he wasn't just someone in the background and that he was made to be important, made to be seen. I wanted him to know that I believed in him.

The bright bulbs that frame the mirrors backstage are much more blinding that a spotlight. I practice my lines again while trying not to look directly at the lights. The last thing I want is to have spots in my vision that cause me to trip while doing the dances.

I'm not the only person back here. The space is crowded with tense nerves and people trying to memorize their parts. Carlos is giving Seb a pep talk, Ashlyn is practicing her vocals, and Steph is going through her dances.

"Wow."

I spin around and see Ricky gawking at me in my dress. It's a blue, denim one with a frilled hem. I know I turned down EJ's suggestion when he told me I should dress like Gabriella for my winter musical audition, but I feel different this time. I found this dress at the thrift store down the street, and I knew that if Kourtney were there, she would've told me to buy the dress and have no regrets. I can tell Ricky would've agreed.

"You look stunning," he says as he steps up to me.

I smile. "Thank you. I wanted to dress the part."

"I can already picture you as Mo," he says.

He comes up and takes my waist, drawing me into a kiss. I keep it short. I'm not big on PDA, and there are a lot of other people in this room with us.

"I spent all last night practicing the song," I say.

"It sounded great when you sang it to me," Ricky responds, "so I'm sure you'll do great."

"I hope so," I agree.

Ricky gives me a soft smile. "I know so."

One of the best things about Ricky and I is how beautifully uncomplicated we are. Sure, we had a rocky past, but I like where we are now. Everything he does is gentle and well-intentioned, and it's nice to know that I don't have to think about it. We just work, and it's simple as that. He's become a regular part of my life. Sometimes I wonder what I'd be if he weren't around. He keeps me stable, acts as a constant in my life, and I value that. I don't know if I'd know where I'm going if he weren't there to walk with me.

As I look past my boyfriend, I notice my other friend looking jittery as she paces back and forth, repeating her lines out loud. Her curly hair sprouts from a ponytail on the back of her head, brushing her bare shoulders which her purple tank top doesn't cover.

"Hey, I'm gonna go make sure Gina's okay," I tell Ricky.

He nods and heads off elsewhere, and I make my way across the room to where Gina is. As I approach, she stops repeating her lines and looks to me.

"Hey," I say. "You nervous?"

"Me? No." Her compressed voice gives her away.

I raise my eyebrows, and her strong front gives out.

"It just feels weird," she mutters. "Kourtney and I always audition together. She was the one who convinced me to try out for a lead for the first time. It's strange not having her here."

I take in a breath. "I know what you mean."

She bats her eyes a few times, trying not to let out the tears. After a moment, she puts a smile on her face.

"Anyway, you look cute," she compliments.

I let her change the subject, knowing it's her way of coping. "Thanks."

"You look just like Mo," she goes on, "except even more beautiful."

I feel myself blush, and a thought pops into my head.

"You know, when I was little," I start, "I used to build blanket forts as a way to block out my problems. I don't think anyone ever gets too old to build a fort."

Gina breathes a little chuckle and bites her lip.

"Is that number four?" she asks.

"Well, it always made me feel better."

She glances to the side before returning her eyes to me. "Sounds like something that'd be better with two people."

"It just so happens one of my Moms has a collection of blankets from her time travelling after college."

"What a great way to celebrate you getting the part of Mo," Gina says.

I brush a piece of fallen hair behind my ear. "I haven't gotten it yet. I night not get it."

She shakes her head, chin confidently up, and responds, "You will."

______________________________________

The auditions were as uneventful as usual. Carlos sat beside Miss Jenn the whole time, making comments about every individual who got up on stage. I couldn't tell what he said about me, but Gina told me afterward that he must've said I was incredible. I would've argued that she held that title. She sang perfectly. She held me and the entire crowd captivated with every lyric. I felt intimidated going on after her, but she gave me a smile that charged my confidence instantaneously. Plus, Ricky was there cheering me on.

Now, he holds my hands while he tries to convince me that I got the part I'm hoping for. Today's the day Miss Jenn is announcing the cast, and I haven't stopped bothering Ricky about how impatient I am. I want to know what part I got so I can stop worrying about it.

"You did amazing," Ricky says. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Right. You're right," I say, trying to take deep breaths. "Right?"

Miss Jenn turns to the anxious crowd after pinning the paper to the bulletin board.

"You may now look at the list," she says with a grin as she steps out of the way.

People buzz toward it like paper clips to a magnet. I let Ricky go so that I can flood in with the rest of the students. I spot Gina coming toward me with a smile and stop to listen to what she's so clearly dying to say.

"I got Stella!" she squeals.

"Gina, that's fantastic!"

She grins. "You'll be happy to see what you got."

She puts a hand on my back, pushing me forward toward the list. I search for my name and follow the dots to the other end of the page.

Grinning from ear to ear, I whip around.

"I got Mo!"

I run back to Gina and throw my arms over her neck, and she rounds me in a hug. Our excitement feels more amplified now than when we were apart, and I hold on to her until my arms get tired.

When I eventually let go, I hear Ricky's voice grab my attention.

"I got Charlie," he says. His eyes flicker between me and Gina, finishing back on me.

I step away from my friend and go over to give my boyfriend a hug too. I probably should've gone to him first. I don't know why I didn't. Something just pulled me to Gina.

"I'm so proud of you," I tell Ricky.

I truly am happy for him, but I have to layer a little extra icing onto my tone of voice in order to hide my internal train of thought. Ricky doesn't seem to notice though, and he pulls me into another hug. Over his shoulder, I watch as Gina goes off to share her excitement with Carlos and Seb.

A/N: Hi. I would've written more about the actual auditions, but honestly I felt like that would just be wasting time, because it really wasn't important. I've got lots of ideas for the rest though. I have six chapters planned out already. I'm super excited to write them. I love you all. Good night!