☆彡2:30am: renmin [DISCONTINUED]

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"Why are you still with him if he keeps hurting you?" Although Chenle asked that question in an innocent way, Jaemin couldn't help but reflect on it. Yes, he was just being curious and he didn't mean it in a 'Jaem, get your shit together' way but it impacted him in a 'Jaem, get your shit together' way.

"Chenle, it's not cool to ask things like that!" Renjun scolded the younger but Jaemin didn't feel offended in any way. It was just, a question. A simple question with a bunch of shit packed into it. Before Chenle apologized, Jaemin spoke.

"No, it's okay to ask!" Jaemin smiled reassuringly and continued to speak.

"Well, it's simple, I love him." Chenle tilted his head in confusion.

"But didn't you say that you wanted to leave and get a restraining order?"

"Well, yes but I still love him. He was extremely sweet and caring and I was the luckiest boy in the world to score a guy like him. He was so caring to every creature, he made me feel good about myself, and he was very funny. Such a good guy. I fell in love with that boy and luckily, he liked me too and we were just in a fun, happy relationship." Jaemin had sparkles in his eyes as he talked about Jeno. He really was in love with that boy. Though, the sparkles dimmed and the light expression darkened as he pulled out a cigarette.

"Then, we moved in together. Things just worsened, he began taking his anger out on me, then he started cheating and got so insecure about himself that he started accusing me of cheating. Not a fun situation, I try to exit the house as much as I can and I started smoking because it helps with the pain. First it was weed, then I started vaping, now I'm onto cigarettes. I don't even smoke to sooth the mental pain anymore, I do it to help the physical pain." There was nothing but silence between the three boys. The sound of Jaemins lighter flicking, the chain from the swings rattling, and the wind filled the air.

"I'm sorry for asking Jaem..." Chenle looked down in shame but Jaemin just chuckled softly.

"Don't worry about it! It was just a question." It wasn't just a question, it was an eye opener. Jaemin wanted to stay but staying only made him feel anxious. Scared. Yeah, he loved Jeno but at what cost? He was suffering everyday, who knows when Jeno will do more than just insult and degrade him.

He was scared.

His current situation was shitty but imagine what will happen in a couple years.....months.....weeks.....even days. Anything could happen. And although he could defend himself, he didn't want to hurt Jeno. He didn't want to hit him or yell at him, although he did occaionally when he lost his temper, because it did nothing but worsen the argument.

"Well, enough about me, how are you guys doing?" Jaemin wanted to change the subject as soon as possible. Not that he was running away from it, he just felt like it would be better to reflect on it when he was alone.

"Shit. My dad got fired and my mom makes $1,000 a year, obviously she wouldn't be able to support us. They've been arguing more than ever now and now Renjun is leaving me alone in there because he has to work." Renjun had a slight look of guilt on his face while Chenles was filled with sadness. Jaemin felt bad.

"Well, I don't want to but you know the deal! I'm trying to get us our own little apartment but I have to work my ass off by taking more shifts because those shitheads keep taking the money I make. Like last week, mom got her nails done, my dad ordered pizza and all this shit with my money." Jaemin frowned softly and hugged the smaller boy.

"I just, want to get us out of this situation. I want us to live normally and for him to attend school normally, you know, just like what I should be doing. I just, I'm busting my ass off and getting little to nothing." Renjun slowly teared up as he thought about his life. He didn't want Chenle stuck in this. He just wanted him to live better.

"I would let you stay with me but you know my situation right now." Renjun just smiled at Jaemin and shook his head.

"It could never happen but I wish Jaemin, I really do wish this could happen. Oh shit, okay, we gotta head back." Renjun grabbed Chenles hand and the two boys began making their way home, leaving Jaemin to just sit down and wonder to himself.

'Can I leave Jeno?'