Relentless

Chapter 24

I still find myself staring at my hands endlessly. I lift my free hand over Skylars metal band. I concentrate hard but it doesn't move. I try again, this time looking through the metallic surface. I remember my training with Peter and suddenly in my mind I am back in the woods around the institute a month ago.

My eyes were closed, I can feel the warmth of the sun on them and the dew from the grass seeping through my moccasins. I opened my eyes to see Peter examining me.

"What? I always start the day with breathing exercises." I said defensively.

"Yes, but you never start the day willingly. You've been here for six months and I've had to drag you out of your bed everyday. Until I got up this morning and realize you were already gone. I have to admit, part of me thought that you may have ran away."

"And why would I do that?"

He shrugged as if he didn't just question my loyalty. "Being in the Order of the Silver Feather is hard. Your training is demanding. It's understandable if you couldn't take it. Not many can. That's why there are so few here."

"And here I thought they had all just died."

Peter approached me, stopping only a step away. "That's not funny." He replied flatly.

"Who said it was supposed to be?"

"I have to ask... why the change this morning?"

I have to think a moment before I can come up with an answer. I know why, I just don't know how to put it into words. "I guess I finally realized that this is my fight as much as it is yours and I don't want to sit by while our people are being killed. I want this war to end as much as you do. I have also lost too much to this war and I don't want anyone else to know my pain."

"So fear and pity. That's why you're here?"

"What? No-"

"You're scared you won't get your family back and unless you join this war and help it to end, you have no chance of getting your family back. You also don't want other families to be torn apart like yours. You picture little girls and boys being kissed goodbye by their parents for the last time before they are separated and slaughtered on the run. It disgusts you, as it should."

"That's a happy thought for the morning." I said with my brow furrowed.

"So tell me," Peter asked, stepping into my space. "Why did you come out here so early this morning?"

I hesitate before lifting my hands. His hands find my elbows before he gently runs them down my arms. The motion makes a shiver run down my spine. His hands settle under mine in a silent invitation to explain.

"I know I shouldn't still look at my hands and fear the power in them, but I still do." I muttered.

"Don't fear your hands. Tell me this, are they a part of you?"

"Yes."

"Does your power come from them?"

My eyes trail to the ground as I refuse to answer.

"No, your power comes from inside of you. And you don't fear yourself, right? So why fear your power?"

That's where he is wrong. I am afraid of myself.

He drops my hands and pulls something out of his satchel. "Alright, let's pick up where we left off yesterday."

"No, not this again. I told you. I can't manipulate metal."

"And I told you that you can. All you have to do is develop your power."

"Oh, is that all?"

"And lose the sarcasm."