Kiaran Lanier
March 6, 2020
8:12 p.m.
Roddy and Kiaran were at Kiaran's house chilling in her room and watching TV. They had been hanging out way more with each other ever since the day in the studio. It was mostly Roddy hitting her up all the time, but of course she was always excited to hang out with him.
"Roddy?"
"Wassup?"
"We always in this damn house. Lets go out."
"K, you know I don't care for going out."
"I know, but this is different."
"How is this any different?"
"Because you're going out with me."
"Ion see no difference."
"C'monnnnn. Stop being a party pooperrrrr."
Roddy ignored her and continued to text someone on his phone.
"Aight. You can show yourself out", I said reciprocating the same energy Roddy had when they first met.
Roddy looked up from his phone is disgust. "You know you're annoying as fuck." He started grabbing his belongings and getting ready to leave.
"HEY!!! WHY ARE YOU ACTUALLY LEAVING?!?!? I'm just playing", I quickly ran after him and wrapped her arms around him from behind before he could walk down the steps. "Wassup witchu. You never act like this.... you good?"
Now Kiaran was concerned because Roddy didn't seem himself at all. He wasn't cracking jokes with her like they usually do and he was being low key rude to her the whole time they were hanging out, but she just ignored it.
He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face before answering. "Yea, I'm straight."
"You sure?", I questioned while pulling him back to her bed so the two could be sitting down facing each other. He nodded his head.
"You're not." He looked up at me. "And that's okay."
I feel like boys are always taught from a young age to 'never show emotion', 'toughen up', 'crying is for bitches', 'man up' and things of that nature. I've never been a fan of it. It's not healthy in my eyes. Men should be able to show their emotions just as much as women without getting the backlash for it. As humans, it isn't healthy to hold all our emotions in. It tends to lead to a very bad outbursts of all our emotions and some people even let these outbursts control their actions and make poor decisions that can sometimes ruin one's life for good.
"I want you to know that you don't have to tell me if it bothers you that much, but I'd appreciate it if you did. You know I'm always here for you", I said while putting my hands over his.
5 minutes of silence went by before Roddy shook his head and sighed.
"I-I think its.. stress", his voice cracked.
"And what's stressing you out?"
"I know this music shit comes with all the shit it does, but it never stops. Niggas been in and out the studio everyday, the shows and festivals never stop. A nigga barely sleepin... Ion know", he said shaking his head in his hands. "And it's March."
I honesty didn't know what that meant so I kept quiet waiting for him to finish.
"The anniversary of Nipsey's death is coming up and it just doesn't even feel real. Like a year? A full year has gone by without this nigga? Shit can't be for real..... London sent me somethin in the mail for a ceremony at the end of March for him...... and then I got a kid on the way."
This man can't get a break gahdamn!
