Can I have your number? [Completed] ✅

7 - Confessions

Taehyung's POV

"Let go of me Taehyung!"

He's still struggling to get free even after that kiss. It was so powerful. So full of need and want. But is that all I want from him? No! I want more....I want him to love me. I want him to understand why I did what I did. If he'll just give me a chance to explain.

I pull back and let go of him. I raise my hands up in defeat. I won't fight him. I'm the one that is wrong here. He has every right to be angry; to hate me.

I watch as he tries to get his breathing back to normal before collapsing against the wall, and curling himself up into a ball on the floor. He sobs softly and it's all my fault. I hate myself right now. I hate that he's hurting because of me.

"Jin-ah....please baby. Please at least hear me out. I promise, after you give me this one chance to just talk to you, I'll leave and you won't have to see me again." I feel my heart clench at those last words that I'd just uttered. How can I ever be without him? But if he hates me still, then I will respect his decision. I look at him pleadingly, for just one chance. I move his hair away from his face, tucking a stray strand behind his ear. His eyes are swollen with tears. I just want to hug him but I hold myself back.

He wipes his face with his hand and goes to sit on the couch wordlessly. I take that as a yes and move to join him. I pace a little before I begin.

"Jin-ah, you are right to hate me. Yes, Bogum is my boyfriend." He sniffs at that but doesn't say anything. "We've known each other practically our whole lives. My parents....It's very complicated with them. It wasn't easy for them to accept my career. My father wanted me to join his business. It's just not me. I've never wanted that life. I've always wanted to be in entertainment. Ever since I was little but my parents, they never approved. I left home when I was 16. The only person who helped me was my friend Jungkook. He's a singer but he does act as well. I stayed with him for a year until my parents relented.

They insisted that I date Bogum then only would they accept my choice of career. Bogum was not averse to it. He's had a crush on me since forever. I liked him too but it's not what I wanted for myself. Deep down I know he feels it. But he won't let go. He's too attached to me. We've built our careers together.

In the last 3 years of us actively dating, I've never once kissed him. We do have sex, yes, but it's just that for me....sex. It's not making love. I'm not in love with him. I'm. ...I'm in love with you Seokjin. I can't stop thinking about you. You're everything for me. I want to be in your life. I feel lonely in a crowd if you're not there. I want to hear your voice, feel your touch, taste your lips....listen to your crazy laughter....kiss your fingertips."

I turn to him and he's looking at me. Really looking at me. There's no trace of tears but his face is blank. I don't know what else to say, I love him. He gets up and I feel my whole body tense. He goes to walk to the window and looks out.

"When I was 12, I was diagnosed with cancer." My breath hitches. "I was in and out of hospitals for 6 years until I was deemed to be in remission. My parents battled with my condition. It took a lot out of their marriage and it didn't stand the test of time. They divorced. My eomma moved to the States and I see my appa from time to time. I worked hard and started my own small business. Namjoon, he's been my rock. And Yoongi too." He laughs lightly. He turns to look at me.

"Namjoon wants to be a rapper with Yoongi but he's wasting his time in my shop, using a section for his bookstore. It's his excuse to stay close to me. He goes to the studio with Yoongi now and then but he won't launch his music. He's afraid to leave me alone."

I look at him with all the worry and concern I can muster. He's been through so much and here I am, being selfish and dishing him with more pain. I'm a self centred bastard!

"This is my small world Taehyung. My friends, Seomi...We all share a bond. If you want to be a part of my small world, you have to be honest with me always. I don't know when I'll close my eyes and never open them again. I want to live the best life I've been given, but I won't do it half baked."

He stares at me with sadness etched in his eyes. I can't be the cause for any pain in his life. I hate myself and my predicament.

"I love you Kim Seokjin. I'll leave him. I'll do anything for you. Please don't give up on me. I know I'm not worthy of you right now. But I promise, I'll make it right. I'll give you the best life. The life that you deserve. Not a half baked life. I love you. Please, please look at me baby."

I watch as a fresh batch of tears escape his eyes. He hugs himself tightly then looks up to lock eyes with me. I can't take it anymore. I close the distance between us and envelop him in my arms. I rub his back soothingly, cupping his head to my chest.

"Shoo baby....please. Don't waste your precious tears on me. I love you Jin. I've never been more sure of anything in my life and I will make myself worthy of you."

I kiss the top of his head softly as he lifts his tear-filled gaze to mine. I dip my head and place a soft kiss to his beautiful lips. He doesn't push me away. I walk away from him then.

"I'll be back baby....I'll do what's right and I'll come back to you. Please don't give up on me."

I close the door behind me and lean against it. I let out the tears I was holding back. I can hear his soft sobs on the other side of the door as I clench my fists and walk away.....

************************************

A special shoutout to all of you for taking the time to read, vote, comment and recommend this book. You are awesome! 😙💖

I purple you 💜

************************************

Love Swty 😙