Can I have your number? [Completed] ✅

29 - Choices

Seokjin's POV

There hasn't been a time that I can't remember not being sick. My illness has plagued my life in more ways than one. I always knew the consequences of the treatments I had subjected my body to, but I was not the only one that had made those decisions. My parents too had been instrumental in deciding what invasive therapies I had had to endure in order to survive.

It's been a week since Taehyung and I got the news of my pregnancy and things haven't been the same. Initially, we were so happy but that was so short lived that I can't even remember the happiness anymore. Having both my parents with me right now, is also something I hadn't envisioned in the last twelve years. My parents are not big fans of each other and their constant bickering right now, has been grating on my nerves.

"Eomma, appa, please can we stop this? I'm just feeling really out of sorts and you both arguing is not doing me any good."

"Seokjinssi, there is nothing to argue about, you cannot have this child and that's final," my mother was determined.

"What is wrong with you? It's his body and his life! He has every right to make that decision for himself," my father counted.

I sighed heavily as they started a new bout of bickering. I left them to it and went to call Namjoon. I needed him the most. Taehyung has also become testy with me since my decision to keep our child. He refuses to let me jeopardise my health and wants me to have the abortion. Naturally, we've been at loggerheads and I needed time away from him hence I'm back in my own home. And a good thing too, since my insane parents would have been too much for him to handle.

"Joonie, please come get me. I need some fresh air and they're really getting to me now."

I was glad when I cut the call and waited patiently for Namjoon to come get me. I don't know how I would have managed without him. He's been my rock for so many years and I'm grateful for both him and Yoongi in my life.

Twenty minutes later, he picked me up and we drove to the beach. It's always been our go-to place whenever we've felt like the world was ending. As we sat on the soft sand and watched the ebb and flow of the soothing waves, my mind felt at ease. Namjoon knew when I needed words and when I didn't. He simply held my hand and smiled at me as we watched the setting sun paint its myriad of colors across the dusky sky.

"I want to keep my baby Joonie. Is that so wrong?" I looked at my oldest friend.

"It's not wrong Jinnie. And I understand how you're feeling right now. I would have probably done the same thing although, as your friend and someone who has been with you through all your trials, I know that this baby will be the biggest test on your body. Also, your doctor has advised you of the consequences and side effects of the chemo that could endanger your child. There are many possibilities of birth defects to consider as well. I know it's not what you want to hear, but wouldn't it be kinder to an innocent unborn child and let go of him or her than to let them be born with so many possibilities of ill health and suffering?"

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I looked away from him. I knew deep within my heart that he was right. It was a moral dilemma but also an emotional one for me. This baby was a miracle already. One that I never thought I would ever be blessed with. Was it a sign that it was fated or a moral test that I was being subjected to?

Namjoon enveloped me into his embrace and I cried softly for a while. Could I be this selfish and subject my child to a life of pain and suffering should he or she be born with any defects or pre-existing diseases? Was I that cruel to allow my own flesh and blood to suffer for my own selfish reasons to bear my child? And then there was the possibility of my child being born perfectly normal and without any issues yet that percentage was quite low.

"Jinnie." A soft voice spoke behind us and I wiped my eyes before turning to find my fiancè and Jungkook there. I looked at Namjoon who just smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry Jinnie. I texted Kookie. I think you and Tae need to come to a decision alone without the interference of your parents and anyone else. Just know, that whatever you both decide, we will both support you one hundred percent."

I cried more and held onto him tightly before he got up to go with his fiancè. Taehyung took his place beside me and opened his arms for me. I gladly went into his embrace. I needed him now more than ever. He soothed my back with his soft touches and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you Kim Seokjin. You are the most special person in my life. I know it's not what we expected to happen for us and yes it truly is a miracle on so many levels but do we really want to endanger our own child?"

"Can we really kill our own child Tae?"

He hissed and I knew I had hurt his heart with my words. He held me tighter and soft tears escaped his eyes. Although he was not carrying our baby, I felt his pain. Maybe, it was even worse for him to witness this than for me.

I took his hand and placed it over my tummy. "As we speak, our little miracle is already growing inside of me Tae. We might not be able to see it right now or even feel that he or she is there, but the fact is, our baby is there and alive. Our baby is thriving inside me, nurtured by my body. My body, that has only known pain and more pain for so long. But for the first time, my body is doing something good instead of hurting and destroying. It's giving us a new life, a hope, a little miracle to love and call our own. Maybe we will struggle and just maybe, this pregnancy will knock off a few years of my life, but I don't care Tae. I want to have our child. I can't kill our baby."

He hissed and held me tighter.

"Please don't say that Jinnie. I can't live without you. I love you so much. I can't......" He was full on tearing now as he held me and the dusk around us began to welcome the twilight of the night. "Let's go home angel. We'll figure this out, I promise. We've been through so much already, we'll get through this together too."

I smiled through my tears and extended my hands to him. He lifted me up and carried me close to his chest as he walked us back to his car. Maybe the future was uncertain, but I knew, if I had this man in my life, it would always be full of love.

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What do you think Taejin should do?

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I purple you 💜

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Love Swty 😙