Books, Boys, and Basketball: Senior Year

ALONE

My mom wasn't the only person to hurt me that night. As usual, the social media queen was up to her usual antics. Kim posted another pic of herself, this time wrapped in a sheet with Drew lying in bed behind her with enough of his ass showing for it to be known he was naked. And this time, his hand wasn't obscuring his face.

It was him...

There was no veil of denial I could crawl under to hide from the truth this time. It was staring me in the face.

As if I didn't already know...

Why I chose to delude myself into thinking I was the only girl Drew was sleeping with is beyond me, because the proof has always been there, but now I'm hurting.

Soon after Kim posted that picture, she sent me a video message. She literally hid a camera in Drew's bedroom at the loft to catch Drew in the act so there would be no denying it.

Not that I'm denying it anymore...

He starts off pushing her away and asking her to leave, but she eventually wears him down and he gives her exactly what she came for. I should've stopped watching the video, but I couldn't. The way he kissed her, touched her, and how passionate he was... all of it tore through my heart like a knife with a serrated edge.

To make matters worse, Drew texts me the next day like its nothing, telling me how much he loves me, and how sorry he is that our night got cut short. I don't respond because I don't know what to believe.

I mean, how can he do those things with her and then turn around and tell me he loves me...? How can this be love when he's sleeping with someone else...?

Then there's the difference in his actions whenever we're at school. From the outside looking in, people might think Kim is the one he cares for. They hug, they hold hands, and he buys her things like lunch and school spirit wear. Which isn't surprising because he's always been a giver. It's just who he is. If you're in his life he takes care of you.

I think his courtesy still extends to me, based on the things he tells me, and that I'll be a priority. But once again, he's taking Kim to the first school dance of the year and I'm genuinely shook.

For the first time in the three years we've been talking, I'm starting to wonder where I stand with him. Is his interest in Kim all for show, like he says? For daddy, as he claims. Or is there really something between them that I should be worried about?

The thought alone threatens to break my heart. I can't deny the facts or his actions. He's texted me once since that night, but he hasn't called, he hasn't come by, and I have it on good authority that he and Kim have gone out every night this week. Save tonight because of our game. Meanwhile I've been downgraded to a booty call.

Unlike before, I don't allow my issues with Drew to affect my game. If anything, my issues with him give me a reason to focus on something else. That way I don't have to think about said issues.

I channel my pain, frustrations, stress, and confusion into determination and help my team wipe the floor with the other team. But it's an away game. So, I can't disappear into the locker room once the game is over. I'm forced to face reporters, college scouts, and fans alike because I have to sit and watch the boys' game.

I confide in Patrice, Chloe, and Quincy about my problems with Drew, only to have them blow me off. Quincy claims he's tired of trying to save me from myself where Drew is concerned. Chloe is convinced I'm just going to keep seeing him anyway, and she's probably right. So, she doesn't want to get into the middle of it. And Patrice doesn't want any problems with Scott. So, she stays out of it too.