Books, Boys, and Basketball: Senior Year

ICE

My heart has been pounding since the moment I woke up to the sun shining through my bedroom window. Swinging my feet over the side of my bed, I bang around on my nightstand until I turn off my alarm.

I'm not motivated to move let along go to school, but I need to see him. I need to look into his eyes in order to know how worried I should be.

Somehow, I muster up the courage to get in the shower, dress myself, do my makeup, and head to school, but the closer I get to school, the queasier my stomach feels. Thankfully, Drew hasn't made it to school yet, but our friends are hanging out in the parking lot waiting for us. Everyone is talking about my rocky relationship with Drew and how its hanging by a thin thread.

Patrice comes over to me, pulling me into a tight hug, and Chloe looks like she's been through hell. Staring at her I realize she's been beating herself up way more than I ever could. The poor thing has bags under her eyes, and she looks extremely guilty. Against everything in me wanting to punch her in the face, I throw her a bone and hug her too. What I'm not expecting is for her to break down in my arms.

Drew pulls up, and suddenly, all eyes are on me. I feel like I'm under a microscope with everyone dissecting my every emotion. Every slight change in my facial expression.

Pain grips my heart as I set eyes on Drew for the first time since that disaster of a party Chloe threw. He looks damn good too, while I'm a hot mess. I've worried so much over the past four days that I have grapes AND bags underneath my eyes right now from lack of sleep.

These have been the most excruciating few days of my life and I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready to know once and for all where we stand. Even if it's not together.

But how do I do that when he's not talking to me...?

Even now, he smiles and greets our friends, pulling them into hugs and giving them dap, but he completely skips over me. He doesn't even look at me or acknowledge that I'm standing right in front of him. I may as well be invisible.

Thinking perhaps maybe he needs some more time I abandon hope for a reconciliation today. I don't bother him or say a word to him. I'm letting him come to me, like Mia says, only now I'm worried it might not happen.

Christmas break rolls around, and I try reaching out again. Surprisingly, he answers his phone but instead of reconciling we end up arguing. That conversation ends just like the last one. Christmas comes around with no word from Drew, other than Patrice dropping by to bring me the present Drew bought for me. When I press her for information about how he's doing or where his head is at, I get nowhere. Patrice is more loyal to Scott than she is to me, and he swore her to secrecy.

New Year's Eve comes, and Drew and I end up at the same party together where yet again we get into a huge argument. I spend the rest of the night crying with my friends trying to console me. Our birthdays roll around and yet again Patrice comes by to drop off yet another gift. I hand her a gift to give to Drew and after spending a couple hours together she leaves.

Valentine's Day passes without Drew saying a word to me. I've lost all hope at this point because there's nothing but dead air or arguing between us. No phone calls, no texts... not even a damn S.O.S., and I'm torn up inside to the point where my friends and family are worried.

I haven't been eating or sleeping well, and I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, but I can't pull myself together. It's affecting my game now too, and coach Treggle has threatened to bench me on more than one occasion.

As much as I hate to admit it, Drew has me MESSED UP. I don't even have the motivation to pick up a ball anymore, and my lack of focus has everyone weighing in on my sanity.