This Year I've Had Enough

I Spoke Too Soon It Seams

It's been 3 days since Jack has talked to me. You can tell by the plethera of little red lines marking anywhere my razor could reach. 30 cuts opening my worthless pale flesh leaving crimson trails in it's wake. 10 for each day of deafening silence. Well not silence in my case where you have those annoying voices in your head (the cutting keeps it quiet longer at least). But silence from Jack. making me feel a lump in my throat when i see him at school.

The weirdest part though is he looks as bad as me. Eyes slightly sunken in, from not eating or sleeping no doubt, his skin, paler than usual, almost resembling a ghost. His ares are red and hazy, from crying in the bathroom, bedroom, hallway, lunch table, classes, and no doubt it's about me. All i create is pain. Whenever i see him i just want to run up to him and envelope him in my arms, keep him safe from the things that are hurting him, let him cry, tell him everything will be okay. But then i remember it's my fault he's hurting. But then i remember he left me.

It's lunch, i'm sitting at the usual table with Zack and Rian, Jack hasn't sat with us since Monday, two days ago. Zack and Rian are pigging out on the latest culinary advancement our government has blessed our school systems with. I, though, haven't ate in days. The lack of my best friend makes me nauseous, and i'd rather not have anything in my stomach to dump into the boys bathroom toilet.

"Alex, you need to eat something, i mean for God's sake you look like a skeleton!" Zack spats from across the circular table, Rian just nodding in and chewing his, most likely, not beef, hamburger in agreement.

"M'not hungry." I simply stat praying my friends were oblivious to why.

"Just because you and Jack are having issues doesn't mean you can't eat, Lex." The use of the nickname i only let Jack use making me cringe and shoot a glare at Rian as he says it. Okay maybe my friends aren't oblivious.

"Fuck off, Rian. You don't know shit." I spat in his direction. They didn't know the whole story so they shouldn't go making assumptions.

"The please, enlighten us Alex cause we sure as shit would like to know what the hell is going on between you two!" Zack retorts for Rian.

I pushed myself up from the chair and grab my backpack, "It's none of you god damn business." With that i storm off heading for the nearest boys bathroom