This Year I've Had Enough

Even He Has To Admit A Certain Melody In It

After the relentless yelling from his parents about his behavior and the tears staining his cheeks in the prosses, Alex finally was left to his thoughts. Some would be happy to be left with their thoughts, not Alex.

-Hey dumbass, nice going back there with your little outburst. And tears? Really? What are you five? Try and control you fucking emotions. I can't fucking keep everything about you under control. Fuck.-

Will you please, just, leave me alone tonight?

-Fuck no. This is your fault, and now you're going to have to deal with me.-

Alex knows the only way to keep him quite for a while is the comfort of a shinny, cold, and sharp metal object hidden in a tin box under his bed.

-Hey queer fuck will you fucking listen to me when i'm talking?!-

Every word Alex hears from the voice causes the blade in the box to call his name, "Alex....i can shut him up, take me out of here. Run me across your skin. I can stop the burning on your skin with a stroke of my sharp edge."

Alex reaches for the tin hidden under a sock that has yet to be washed. The box is almost as cold as the exacto blade, but doesn't quite compare.

-You're fucking kidding me right. You think that cutting your worthless fleash will shut me up for long? You are as stupid as i thought.-

Alex fumbles with the blade for a moment while trying to lift his shirt and push the waistband on his pants and boxer just low enough to expose the scared tissue on his hips. He runs the blade across his skin, just deep enough to shut up the sounds in his mind long enough for him to take the gauze out of the tin box and tape it on the fresh crimson liquid running down his pale skin, pooling on his scars of previous attemptes to shut him up.

The sound of his phone vibrating on his bed startles him out of his trance. The screen read "Jacky", and just his name read aloud in his mind makes his heart skip a beat. He would swear his heart stopped, if he didn't already feel the red in his cheeks and the feeling of his heart beat on his fresh wounds.

Alex pressed the green button eager to hear Jacks voice.

"Bitch i told you to meet me at the park like 20 minutes ago!"

"I'm sorry i got in an argument with my parents after you left and i just lost track of time and-"

"No excuses just get you ass here." Jack was notoriously pushy.

~~~~~~~~~~~x~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex had somehow monoverd past his parents on his way out of the house and made it the 3 blocks to the park without hearing any complaining from his thoughts. He was starting to believe there was a God. Well for now at least.

Alex can spot Jacks awkward body swinging on the swingset. Alex sneaks up behind Jack, luckily he had his headphones in, and grabs Jack by the shoulders pulling him down to the ground.

"JESUS CHRIST YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" Jack screamed between gasps of horror.

"That...was...the plan!" Alex manages to get out between gasps and giggles, and blushing once he realizes that Jack is lying right on top of him, but that feeling is gone as soon as Jack peels himself off Alex.

"I thought you were a mugger or something!" Jack was yelling but in a whisper tone.

"I'm sorry Jack but i couldn't pass up an opportunity to scare you." Alex speaking through his signature smirk that Jack had been missing lately. "But anyway, why did you want to meet up here at such an ungodly hour?"

"I want you to tell m-." Jack suddenly noticed the patch of skin exposed to the elements where Alex's shirt had rode up and sweats had ridden down. He noticed the scares tissue of past matches with silencing the voices in Alex's head. But what stuck out the most was there was small beads of blood forming on the outside of a piece of fresh gauze. "Alex. What the fuck is that?"

Alex realizing what Jack was worked up about pulled his pants up and his shirt back down and staring at the ground. "I-It's n-n-nothing, Jack."

"Bullshit it's nothing!" Jack exclaimed while grabbing Alex's wrist to pull him back to Jack. Jack grabbed a fistfull of Alex's shirt pulling it up enough to peel back the gauze hiding the small lines on his hips.

"Jack-k?" Alex's voice wavering looking down at the younger darker haired male.

"W-Why? Why did you do this to yourself Lex?" The younger male said looking up at Alex, eyes glazed with the film of fresh tears about to spill over.

"J-Jack plea-ease don't cry-y." Alex's eyes about to spill over with tears from seeing what he had done to his best friend.

"Just tell me why Lex!" Jack was practically screaming at him now.

"I just wanted it to be quiet in my head for once! I was sick of being called a faggot by my own mind! Being told how i feel about you was wrong!" With that last sentence Alex couldn't take it anymore and fell to the ground realizing what he had just said. He couldn't stop the tears. He didn't want to see the look of disgust on his best friends face because of how pathetic he was. So he curled up in a ball and stayed there on the ground.

"What do you mean by how you feel about me being wrong Lex?" Jack had laid down beside his best friend putting an arm around him and brushing the fringe out of his face wiping away the tears staining Alex's cheek.

"I like you Jack. More than i should.