This Year I've Had Enough

I'll Try I'll Fail

"Jacky?" I was worried. Scratch that, I was scared SHITLESS.

-You should be dumbass.-

Great now you're back today's just fucking fabulous.

I heard the stall unlock. I stood there waiting as i saw one skin tight jean clad leg come out, then another. I couldn't bear to look up at him. I couldn't bear to see the tears.

I can't.
I can't do this.
So I ran.
I ran.
Through the halls.
People blurring into shapes and colours.
Through doors.
Down streets.
I ran so much my legs were burning.
I didn't even realize I had ran home, or the tears running down my cheeks.
I walked up the stairs, through the door, ignoring the yells comming from my parents.
I don't even listen to what their latest fight is about.
It's all a blur.

-WILL YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME?!-

I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOUR SHIT! I just want to be left alone for once. I-i want some peace and quiet, j-just for on-once... and i know how to get that quiet. Permenatly.

-What do you mean permenatly? Oh, i get it, you're gonna take the cowardly way out.-

Ignoring the voices, walk into the bathroom across the hall, screams echoing off the walls. Everything seems to spin as i walk into the small yellow room, locking the small woden door. I walk over to the shower turning it on the right tempurature. I don't feel like scolding my skin while trying to relax.

-You won't be able to relax, i'm going to make your life hell as much as i can until you die you worthless peice of shit.-

I spin on my heels and walk back tawords the small wodden and glass structure, slidding the reflective door open and bulling out the orange and white bottle. Rolling it around in my hand inspecting the bottle, hearing the sound of small white pills rolling around in it. Opening it i set 13 pills on the counter, lining them up like little toy sodiers a child would play with, pretending to begin a battle with.

-I hope this hurts so much. I hope that you end up paralyzed so that way if you live you hace to deal with me no matter what.-

I undress, grab the cup from the counter, turn on the cold water and fill it until it overflows. Now is the moment of truth.

-DO IT YOU WORTHLESS PEICE OF SHIT. TAKE THEM AND FUCKING DIE ALREADY.-

I grab one pill after the other untill the counter is empty and the water is all gone. I don't cry, i feel numb, the thought of death is a welcome one as i sit down in the shower, waiting.

Suddenly everything gets dark, like, like i'm suddenly thrust into a tunnel that's growing darker and darker. And then i don't remember anything.