This Year I've Had Enough

I See Them Younger This Time

I rounded the corner into the blue and grey tiled room and made my way to the nearest stall. I was almost inside when i heard the souds of pained sobs from the other end of the row of minutre kahki coloured rooms. I could tell who it was behind those tears too.

I remember them all to well...

~

"What do you mean by, 'I like you more than i should'?" Alex was frozen in his spot on the ground, maybe the mixture of rain and cold temperatures had turned him into a human icicle, cause he sure the hell wasn't able to say or do anything.

"Alex?" shit, fuck, damn it, what was he going to say?, "Alex?! Will you say something?" Alex's eyes were glazed over, almost foggy, and he was staring off into the distance, he couldn't bare to look at his friend. The only thing he could do was hide, even if it meant having to deal with the voices, he would rather face his own self hate then Jack's.

"I mean i'm fucking gay for my best fucking friend, Jack! What the fuck else could i mean?!"

The voice in my head was starting to take over my real voice, forcing itself out of my mind and into my mouth. Making me scream words i didn't want to say. "I fucking hate myself and then you go around making me feel shittier about it, guilting me, making it my fault! So you know what Jack? Fuck you! You can go FUCK yourself. I never want to see you again. You make me life shit because i care too much about your sorry ass!"

And with that, i ran.

I ran away from the boy i've loved for years.

It wasn't me saying those terrible things to him.

I don't know what happened to me but i let the voice take control of me.

It was a mistake letting him out.

-Well it was a mistake letting Jack in.-