"Here. Take my umbrella."

Chapter 8

          I honestly didn't even know it at first. He was my best friend and it wasn't any more than that. I tried cracking jokes a lot to make him smile and laugh, and it just took off from there. I began to have that mindset around 9. I liked to make people laugh so their life just at least a little bit less shit. But when Eddie laughed, it was different. I just wanted to get him to laugh more and more. Over and over again. And I felt as though that was normal. If they start laughing at something you said, you obviously wanna keep going, right?

          But Eddie's was something I cherished every time I heard it. It made me feel warm inside and I liked it. A completely different feeling than when anyone else laughed after I said something stupid or did something goofy. I never ever showed it, but it brought me so much joy. Even if I did show it, it would be something like: 

"You sound like an ass, Eds. Like a fucking donkey. Are you a donkey? ED'S A DONKEYYY! It's okay, I support you, donkey man."

          And his smile. The way his lips stretched to the corners of his mouth to expose beautiful teeth. Every time I caught the moment happen, it was like I viewed it in slow motion and I just stared. And if he caught me- well- I always had something to cover up. 

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

 "Nothing but the booger from your nose, nerd." 

          And he'd get flustered and embarrassed and freak out. It was so cute and it was funny to mess with him. But truly, this boy was beautiful. When he smiled, the creases under his eyes and in his cheeks came out and his eyes twinkled. The bright big smile that I saw when I told a joke or did something to make myself look like a big fucking idiot. I never had a reason to touch his face because that would be weird but his skin was soft. So fuckin soft and I never got to touch it. That's ass, ya know? Perfect with no acne ever. Even in high school, this dude never had to deal with any. It was just clear as shit as if he were some fucking god of no acne. Maybe Sonia had him take medication to prevent it? Now that is the only logical medication he should have possibly been taking.

          Those other pills for absolutely the stupidest thing? No. God knows what kind of fucking pills he had to take.

          Eddie wasn't much of a hugger as a kid, but he slowly got used to it and adapted to it in high school and was used to it as an adult. Well I'd assumed he was as an adult because we had to greet the losers somehow. But one of the few people who he trusted to hug was me. I was his closest friend and he definitely did freak out the first time it happened, probably because his mother drilled it into his head that we were all toxic and that he should quarantine himself- but for me, it was nice. He was warm, his smaller body pressed against mine. He was tense, but then he'd always get used to it.

          He would start to melt into it and let loose but still tightly hug me. Sometimes he hugged me really tightly, and it was a bit concerning, but he never talked about it. I just gave him the hug like how he wanted. We originally started off with a handshake, one that we created, but it...didn't exactly go as planned.

"No! It's up, down, right, left, and THEN the finger thing!"

 "Alright smartass, why don't you shut the fuck up because I know what I'm doing." 

 "Then why did you do the finger thing first?" 

  "You literally just did the finger thing-"   

"Just like how I did with your mother last night."

"DUDE SHUT UP."

"You wanna fight about it? Come on, let's go!"

"Alright, Tozier."

"You're just jealous of us~"

"Richie I'm really about to hit you!"

"Ah, so you're into BDSM, I'd never pin you as the type to-"

"ALRIGHT LISTEN-"

           Eddie huffed in frustration and annoyance. "Why don't we just forget the handshake and hug instead. Does that work for you?" I adjusted my glasses. "Yup. But you're a pussy." Eddie took a big sniff of oxygen, an inhale of annoyance. "I'm not. I just don't wanna argue over something so stupid." An amused grin spread across my face. "Like how you weren't supposed to do the finger thing until after?"  "RICHIE"

          But he really never hugged the losers as much as he hugged me. And it was kinda cool. It was a different experience when we all had that group hug after defeating it in '89 than when he hugged me. But since we were always the closest, he clung onto me the most. Not physically, but you know. He'd stand near me and stay with me and was loyal to me because I was his best friend. And he was my best friend. Just best friend.

          Sometimes I think maybe that's how I started to develop feelings. He was always around me so it makes sense, right?

          The way he rambles on and on when he gets frustrated or is in an argument. How he took an inhale of air and asked "Have you ever heard of a staph infection?!". The chocolate brown eyes that melted into beautiful pools over the summer. The way that his little tongue would poke out of the corner of his mouth when he concentrated.

All the little mannerisms of Eddie Kaspbrak.

          When I first realized I liked him, it was just the two of us. We were roller skating, and I knew that he should be mine. He had no fucking idea how to skate. Secretly, I was a pro.