Winding/JJK ⁷

Cry

You stood up as soon as you saw Jungkook standing at the doorstep of your room, your face betraying the surprise that his presence had given you.

"Can I come in?" He questioned showing you that he was being respectful of your personal space as this was your room and he had never stepped in it before.

"Ah, sure. It's not usually this messy, I swear." You gave a look at the place and hurried to fix the mattress and he came and gave you a helping hand.

"Where you looking for something? Want me to help in searching?" He offered but you shook your head with a small giggle that felt more awkward than you would have liked it to have come out.

"It's just my earing. Apparently I lost it and I thought it might have fallen while I was sleeping." You gave the first excuse that came to your mind as you placed your hands in the back pockets of your shorts.

"It must have been a very important earing. You left without saying anything and even left the door of your house open." His eyes that looked at you made you feel pressured.

"Did you found it at least?" You remained silent as for some reason his gaze was making you nervous. It felt strange. As if he wasn't really believing what you said but also didn't want to know either. 

"It's okay. I will look for it later. Let's go down. Let's have some ice cream. You like ice cream right?" You smiled as you grabbed his arm and started dragging him out of the room while giving him a question to occupy his thoughts.

"Who doesn't." he smiled and you smiled back as you proceeded going down the stairs. You headed to the kitchen and Jungkook to a seat near the counter as you opened the fridge and pulled out the ice cream, placing it in front of him, before opening some shelves to find two bowls and the spoons.

"You seem a bit nervous Y/N. Is something the matter?"His voice reached your ears as you were still with your back facing him and you gulped down slowly, preparing yourself to lie and pull a face that proved him wrong.

"Why would I be? There is nothing to be nervous about. " You smiled as you turned around, offering him his spoon.

"Let's dig in like this. I am not finding the bowls." You told him then proceeded to take a spoonful and exaggerate with the taste .leaving some phonemes of pleasure.

"Would it be considered too strange if I was to say that I am jealous of the ice cream?" His words perplexed you and after you gulped it down, you expressed your confusion with your facial expression.

"Cause it made you moan." He added while looking you dead in the eyes and you almost choked on your saliva at the understanding of his words, while he just smirked before proceeding to take a spoonful of it as well.

"You are supposed to say something you know. If you don't, you will make me feel embarrassed." He suddenly grew shy and started looking around the room, making you feel flustered.

"I-I am sorry. I just..what am I supposed to say?" You lowered your head, clearly embarrassed.

"No. I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Especially after knowing what you had been through." His words made you look up and face him while your heart grew uneasy. You stayed silent for a moment as you prayed that what he was talking about, wasn't what you were thinking of.

"Your father and I drunk together one night and he kinda started talking about his concerns. He seemed really worried about you and.. I understand why he would be overprotective after that." He went on talking and your face grew pale as you felt your insides dropping.

"Don't worry about it. I admire you for your strength. It must have been difficult to stand up to that guy that was harassing you." Your hand started to tremble while hearing those words that made you travel to the unwanted past.

Jungkook's words were far from what really happened back then. He never harassed you. He was too kind for any such actions. He only endured silently all the bullying that you and your friends were doing to him. Every single day. You remember well how you turned his kindness and smiles to ashes, every day a bit more. He started smiling less, he started to no longer walk with his head high. He started talking less, resisting less. Till...that stupid day that a stupid thought crossed BongJu's head and all agreed on that prank. 

You hadn't liked the idea back then but you also didn't have the guts to oppose. You were scared. They were your friends and at the beginning when they started changing, you started to match with them in order to not be left behind, all alone. But as time passed by, their change grew to something that was far from who you were, was far from anything you liked to be. Their actions were cruel, their behaviors terrorizing. That was the time when your tries and desire to adapt to them washed out, making you want to take distance from them all and their actions but you now knew them way to well to want to be their enemy. How could you break free? Knowing that they would do way worse things to you than they did to him, if you were to go against them.

"Let's change the subject. I seem to have made you uncomfortable by bringing it up. That wasn't my intention." Jungkook's words faintly reached to your ears as you kept quiet, feeling your breath getting harsh and sharp, creating a stinking pain inside your chest as if you had swallowed small little sharp blades.

"He is dead now. There is no point in talking about him for good nor bad." You managed to say, despite the condition that you were in which was very close to a panic attack.

"I heard he committed suicide. He got what he deserved at the end." Jungkook said and without you even understanding why or when, you had ended up slamming your palm against the counter with force, as you gave him a death stare.

"HE DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE!"You shouted at him and he seemed taken aback as his eyes grew wide and his body leaned farther away from you as a reflex of protection towards your aggressive response.

"How can you say that?! No one deserves such a thing. He -He.." You felt your voice giving up on you and despite your try to control your emotions at that moment, you failed, as tears started falling from your eyes.

Guilt. Guilt and blame were creating a storm right at that moment inside you. It was unfair. The fact that he lost his life was unfair and also was something that will weigh on your soul forever. It was all your fault. Yours and of those 'friends' of yours than never stopped. That never thought nor cared about what would happen next and to what outcomes their actions may bring them.

"Calm down Y/N. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I was just-"

"Out!" You interrupted him, now clearly pissed off at him and his way of thinking that disappointed you.

Jungkook stayed still for a moment, surprised by your words, then he stood up, leaving the spoon he was holding on the counter. He gave you a last look, displaying that he was sad at that moment then he proceeded to leave.

As he went out of sight, you started feeling even worse and just hide behind the counter as you started sobbing quietly and Jungkook halted by the door, listening to the sounds that were coming from the kitchen. He took hold of the doorknob and smiled to himself, surprised yet satisfied with the outcome of his words.

Feel sad Y/n. You definitely should be and I will make sure that you are.

---To be continued...