Population Zero

Chapter Eleven

I awoke hard the next morning, ripped out of a terrible nightmare that disappeared from my memory the moment my eyes opened. A loud blaring alarm had sounded and I had nearly jumped up out of my skin drenched in sweat. Lately I had been waking up in so many different places that I had absolutely no idea where I was. Asher sat straight up beside me and rubbed his eyes and stretched out his arms. He and the other boys seemed completely unfazed by the incessant noise wailing out into an echo bouncing off the walls meanwhile it felt like an attack on my already very damaged eardrums so much so that I snapped my hearing aids out just to gain some composure. All around me boys were staring to pop up their heads and stretch and yawn just as Asher had done which told me that this must just be the routine and no cause for concern. With the faint sound now muffled I was able to deduce that I had fallen asleep on the cabin floor beside Asher and apparently, it was now morning. Everyone began standing up and mumbling inaudibly to each other and starting towards the door. They would each grab their badge hanging along side the wall on a coat rack near the front door and walk out into the dark morning in droves. Asher was saying something to me but I couldn't make out any words so I snapped my hearing aide back in place and cringed at the thought of the sound hitting by ears again but thankfully the alarm had stopped.

"Are you coming with us?" He asked looking earnest and there was no way I wasn't going. I nodded and we walked together back towards the hospital or nursing home or whatever it was. I didn't really even know what it was or what I was going to be doing, I just knew I was going to stay with Asher. I would go wherever he went and do whatever he did and I would never leave his side again. We entered the building and starting climbing up the stairs to the second floor where we were served breakfast. We ate beans and toast and were given the choice of milk or juice. Making sure I got enough calcium was crucial for me so I downed my milk with no guilt whatsoever. Asher never made me feel guilty and I didn't miss my old roommate one bit. Next we were herded into the showers. Everyone undressed and stood under a shower and nobody bothered anyone or touched or kissed or looked at each other and up until the end of the shower I felt relaxed and at ease letting the water hit the top of my head and then my privates as I rinsed away all the sweat from my nightmare.  We turned to grab our towels and a fresh pair of scrubs to change into for our shift. Once we were all dressed we started back down the stairs to congregate at the nurses station and receive our assignment of patients for the day. The only problem was my name wasn't on the roster because I didn't belong there. I was supposed to be resting in a hospital bed, monitored for a concussion and taking my medications. Yet here I was with the boys who were clearly troubled youth working themselves to death against their will in a hospital that puts the patients in the most pain and agony behind a curtain and essentially leaving them there to die. My thoughts grew dark and I must have had a sullen look on my face because Asher grabbed my shoulder hard and squeezed it looking deep into my eyes.

"I know it's a lot to take in. Just shadow me for the day and I'll show you how this place is run. It's not so bad, I promise. Some of these patients can really restore your faith in humanity." He said with a sly smile that suddenly and instantly lifted my spirits. How did he do that so easily? We walked to our first room and met an elderly man named Bruce who was just 97 years young. He was very thankful for his meal and told us a short story about his days of working on the oil rig. "Of course. We don't do that anymore these days. It's all about harnessing the power of the sun, wind, and tides these days. But back then we weren't so green. Back then we really didn't know how badly we were damaging the earth." His face fell and I wondered how he could feel guilty for doing something he didn't know was wrong. I thought about how I had been drinking milk so greedily and the guilt struck me right in my chest. I was doing something that I knew was wrong. I made a mental note to stop drinking milk for real this time. What did Renzo say? Calcium is in spinach and fortified in pasta. I'll keep that in mind from now on. The next room we went into seemed oddly familiar. As we began our routine of placing meals down on the bed side table for our patient I heard a familiar wail coming from behind the curtain in the far right corner. My eyes snapped toward the sound and Asher tried to nudge me to look away but I couldn't. Not because it was wailing, but because it sounded exactly like..

"Willie!" The old man shouted. "Pipe down!"
My jaw dropped. This was my room.

There was another man laying in my bed that I didn't recognize. We quickly rolled in the food cart and began serving the stranger while Asher idly chatted with him about his meal. Willie's loud wailing had died down for the moment. Either that or the blood pumping inside my head was blocking me from hearing any sounds. My face felt like it was glowing red hot as my mind filled with the panic and dread of being discovered by my former nurse. Normally, we were in and out of rooms within 5 minutes, max 10, but somehow it felt like we were in this room for an eternity. I tried to appear as calm as possible as I discreetly scanned the room for my lost bag of clothes and belongings but no luck. I didn't see it anywhere. Asher began to wrap everything up in his usual fashion of well wishes and promises to come back at 1 pm sharp for lunch as I tried to keep my head down with a friendly smile plastered across my face. We began our way towards the door and I shot one final glance at the curtain Willie was laying behind. I wondered why we didn't have an extra cart for him but before I could question anything, Asher was rushing me hurriedly out of the door. He shut it tight and looked at me, feigning a placid look as though it would stop me from asking the obvious question.

"Ready for the next room?" He asked.

"Asher. Why didn't we have a tray for the man behind the curtain?" My heart beat began to slow down a bit although I was still anxious to get away from my old front door. I needed the answer first.
"What? Oh, that's just Willie. Look, I don't want to upset you or anything. Let's just move on to the next room." He grabbed my shoulder and tried to move me as he pushed the cart but I wouldn't budge.

"Ok. So why doesn't he get a tray of food?" I wasn't going to back down. Asher let out a heavy sigh and then said, "He's dying, Luke. We have to save our food for those who have a chance at living." He looked deeply into my eyes searching for a sign that I understood.

I was silent for a moment because his words pierced my heart and sucked my breath straight out of my lungs. Not enough food? Since when? We've always had enough to eat. Many times I would throw my tray away with full cartons of milk and whole containers of potatoes or rice. The guilt hit me hard. I never considered once in my life the possibility that there wasn't enough food for everyone. My eyes were fixed at the ground and I knew Asher was waiting for my response. I finally looked up and our eyes met, mine with tears welling up inside them. I nodded my head to show that I did understand. Whatever was killing Willie was sure to kill him much faster. Hungry was a feeling I didn't wish on anyone. I know I barely knew Willie but I couldn't help but feel so pained knowing he would die, most likely alone, feeling hungry.

The rest of the day dragged on and on as we entered and exited room after room with our trays of food in hand. Some rooms would have two sets of trays for both of those in front of and behind the curtains. Some rooms didn't have a second tray for the wailing elder behind the curtain. I never again asked why one room would have both sets and one would have only one set. I never asked but each time my heart would break a little more. Each time I would feel the familiar pang in my chest and feel the tears trying to build. Each time I would fight them back and look straight up at the fluorescent lights, trying to blind myself as though if only I were blind to pain it wouldn't exist at all. By the end of it all I fell asleep on the cold hard floor with a growl in my stomach, sopping wet from the tears I had held back all day long. Asher lay beside me with our backs up against each other in an attempt to keep warm. My dreams were scattered and confusing but I saw flashes of Willie's face in them. Sometimes he was drowning with his hand grasping out to mine but I could never reach it. Sometimes he was coughing and choking back wails but I couldn't calm him. Other times he would just slowly stop breathing. The next morning I awoke with a gasp and a scream and the nightmare began all over again. Only this wasn't a nightmare at all. This was my life now.