Mga Kwentong May Hugot (short stories compilation)

Thinking Out Loud

"Today was different. And tomorrow will never be the same again.

-The End"

That's how I ended the story I wrote. But it instill in my head everytime I remember him. Everytime I remember the little conversations, the casual chats and texts. Everytime I remember how intelligent he was, how artistic, how kind, sweet, gentle and young he was. Everytime I recall that song we both love to hear. Everytime I recall how we've met and how I supposed to accept that everything has come to an end and I need to hold back and let go.

Things come like reality yet it's only a pure dream.

I never meant to say hello nor to know him better. But I admit it, I like him. And I don't wanna miss the thing of liking and knowing someone. I don't wanna regret at the end what I am supposed to do. So I did.

I did know him. I did talk to him. I did these little efforts to know him better than the things I know before.

I like him first and I unexpectedly going to fall. But I just let it happened because my friends are so adamant of me falling in love.

I built the strings that connects us. I bridged what is needed to be bridge. Because I like him. Because I love him, even he don't know. Even this one-sided love helplessly can't handle.

It is true that in love we shouldn't fall, because everything that falls are broken.

Yes. Instantaneously it happened, I was broken like shuttered window. I unconciously sent him wrong message that's all about him.

And that shuttered everything even my whole life. I was destructed by the thought of not chatting him,of not texting him, and of not talking to him. It kills me. And it kills me more, because everything that's between us was ruined by me. Yes. It was all my fault. It was all my mistakes.

And I miss him. The way he chats me. The way he talks to me. The way he smiles and wave his hands to me. I miss him. I really do.

I've accepted it. That we will no longer be friends.  That we will no longer be in good terms. But I believe that this is only temporary everything is bound to change.

Yet I don't have any regrets of knowing him and liking and loving him. Because he's always be remembered and he's always be part of my life.

I'll always think of him out loud. Loud enough that could break again the walls he built. Loud enough that even stars could shuttered and fell on the ground.

This love of mine for him---for now--it's evergreen.

Yesterday was awesome. Today was no regret. And tomorrow will never be the same again--all hopes up.