Quinn

Chapter 9

After dinner, Jack helped Quinn put the kids to bed and clean up the kitchen. She was standing at the large porcelain farm sink when he finished putting pots away, and walked to stand beside her. Sensing the heat of the moment, she thought of a way to quickly create distance between their bodies. Her heart was still aching and she knew it could not be trusted just yet.

"I am going to change out of this dress and into some sweats." She said abruptly. Startled, he nodded and turned to pour a glass of whiskey.

Trotting quietly up the stairs, Quinn's mind was in a frenzy. "What is going to happen? I can't let him have me, he just gave me up! He cheated on me." Her stomach turned sour and her steps became slower. "But he is who I want. He is the father of my children and if forgiving him makes us whole again, maybe that's what I need to do." She thought.

While slipping out of her sundress, she glanced at her body in the mirror, running her hands over her stomach. Quinn was never a slight-woman, she had curves and after the children came, her hips were more pronounced than ever. However, she always looked lovely and had admired her body. This was the first time she had stared long and hard at her figure lately and wondered just how much weight she had lost in the past few months. She looked slim and Quinn felt a rush of confidence flood over her. With a mental note to eat more during the day, she grabbed a pair of full-length charcoal grey yoga pants and a white flowy racer-back tank top that hugged her breasts in the best way. Over her shoulders she pulled on a light grey, knit cardigan and headed down the stairs with butterflies in her belly.

Jack was sitting on the infamous leather couch with his shirt slightly unbuttoned now and a whiskey straight in his hand. There was a small fire burning and only the kitchen lights gave a glow to the perfectly lit living room. He nodded to an open bottle of Magner's Cider for Quinn, and she gratefully took a long pull. She had always loved Bulmer's Cider and searched for stores that sold it in New York. Even though the name was different, each sip reminded her of the trip she and her mother had taken to Ireland when she graduated high school. Her mother had saved for years in order for their "girl's trip," as Eilish had called it. Quinn smiled as the memories of visiting family with her mother flooded her.

Quinn sat, still thinking of her mother. She was a strong, loving Irish woman who had always said to her, "Follow your heart, child. But always remember that the heart is flakey. Above all, follow your soul." And with that, Quinn broke the silence.

"I can't sleep with you, not tonight. It's just too soon." She paused to read Jack's face, and was pleased when he looked up at her with a grin. Taking that as a good sign, she decided to continue. "I love you. I still love you so much, and I love the children we created and the home we made with them. You broke my heart, Jack. And I want you to know that I forgive you."

Tears rolled soundlessly down his cheeks and he did nothing to stop them. It was a sight for Quinn to take in, he had never been much for crying. Before he could say anything, she added, "There is another woman, though, is there not? And I do not want that in my life. I know that you and I are the ones who are married, however, your loyalty was not to me and - oh my word, and there is a child!" Quinn remembered, becoming breathless and taking another drink of her cider to calm her nerves.

"Not anymore." Jack said plainly.

"What?" Quinn asked, with a choke on her drink.

"I haven't been seeing her for three weeks now. I did have her move in with me because I felt bad that there's a baby coming. However, once she was in my space I was slapped in the face that she was not what I wanted. She wasn't the one who made my soul hum. So, I got her an apartment in Brooklyn and she is given money from a direct deposit every month." Jack waited for a moment before continuing, reading Quinn. She sat silently, nursing her cider and staring back at him. She nodded and he went on. "I was nervous to see you after I had her leave, and that is why I haven't been around as much lately. I'm so sorry. That effected the kids, I know it, and I'm sorry."