Deckard's Pov
Emptiness, I was full of emptiness. Everything has been dark since she passed. The sunny days were gone and replaced with dark and cloudy days. If it didn't rain, then it was windy. It was nothing but cold, quiet, dark, and lonely days.
I haven't been able to sleep since she passed. The constant guilt in my stomach filled to the brim making me sick. My eyes were bloodshot from the quiet nights that were spent awake not being able to sleep. Those quiet nights were filled with my sobs and internal yelling as I was at a complete loss. My heart was broken knowing I would never be with her.
It had gotten to the point where I ran to alcohol. It was a daily thing at this point and it was the only thing that kept my feelings in. I knew Nicole would be heartbroken seeing me like this but I can't deal with this pain in my body.
My older days used to be full of smiles and sunshine. I used to be able to wake up and see your sleeping figure in my arms. I would be able to feel your lips attached to my own and nothing stopping us from having fun. I could live those days for the rest of my life but they were gone and left with her.
She took so much with her. She took happiness, smiles, and so much more.
It was raining hard outside. People were crying left and right and I had Hattie crying into the side of my shirt. My mother stood there frozen with all the emotions rushing to her at once. Brian and Dom were silent but I could see Brian with a tear in his eyes. Roman and Tej were crying while Letty and Ramsey comforted them. But I just stared at the casket that had white roses on top, her favorite flower. There was a picture of her on our wedding day in a frame outside of her casket and my eyes were either trained on the casket or photo. She had the biggest smile on her face in the photo and I was holding her.
Luke, he hadn't said anything since she died. We flew her body back to London and the entire flight Luke was silent. Never saying a single word and keeping to himself except Hattie. I told her to make sure he was okay because we could tell he felt the same amount of guilt as me. But he felt it more because he had to do the sacrifice I couldn't do. I respected him but I still couldn't figure out if I hated him for it or thankful. The way Brixton died seemed more painful but it was quicker then bleeding out.
Luke requested me to go with him to tell Sam which hurt me more then anyone could understand. Seeing the young girl cry in my arms made my heartbreak more and shatter into tiny pieces.
Flashback
Luke held his hand over the doorknob to his house but didn't open it. I understood why and could feel what he was feeling. He wasn't ready to see his daughter heartbroken over this and mainly his sister.
I placed a hand on his shoulder making him look at me. "You got this brother. I'm right here if you need me to talk." I reassured him and he sighed and nodded before opening the door.
It was the quiet TV filling the silence in the air and as we walked in we saw Sam sitting on the couch. Her eyes saw us and a smile formed on her face as she shot up from her spot. "Dad!" She yelled running over to Luke and hugging him. It brought a smile to his face and he lifted her and hugged her. "Hey, honey," He said softly before looking at me. "Hey, Uncle D." She said and I smiled. "Hey, kiddo," I said rubbing her head. Her eyes looked behind us and she frowned. "Where, Auntie Nicole?" She asked confused and I inhaled sharply.
Luke sighed and lowered the young girl and looked down at her. "Honey, sit down. We need to tell you something." Luke said and instantly I saw the worried look in her eyes. "Why what's going on?" She asked looking between Luke and me. "Sam, please sit down," I said softly. She stared at me for a couple of seconds before walking to the couch and sitting down.
