TO BE LIBERATED - Shameless

Prologue

i'm holding on
|| CHANDELIER ||
for dear life

   SMALL, WHITE AND ROUND BECOMES POWDER as he presses her student identification card onto the freedom sitting in front of the trio. In six seconds, with a swiveling motion, the engraved 'M' quickly disappears, and their escape finally arrives. She smiles at him when he separates the dust into nine lines, three for each of them. And if that proves not enough - which it usually isn't - there's always more.

Downing her umpteenth shot of liquid courage that night, a thick fog sets over her eyes, everything multiplying. Maybe the three lines will actually be sufficient at keeping her numb. Through her double vision, she could see him fumbling to make the snow color grains into straight sections. For the older boy kept dropping the card, which only postponed the inevitable.

She was completely inebriated, but still, the sight of her mother choking on her own sick three months ago was as vivid as it was haunting. Closing her cinnamon orbs, she pushed the memory down. She hears his voice telling her their liberation is there for the taking and blocks her brother from getting to it first, needing it more than him in that minute.

In one breath, she grips the rolled up dollar bill and inhales each line designated for her, reveling in the lack of a burn. Her eyes close again as she sits back on the stingy and thin cushioned couch, holding the bill out for either boys to take, not caring which one accepts the offer.

For any moment now, she'll be able to successfully get through the night without the routinely plaguing thoughts. She won't be able to remember or regret either.

Just how she likes it.