Music For Cars

V

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. I was full of so much regret and nervousness that it made me sick. As soon as I finished dressing, I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. I was stressing out too much.

"You okay in there, Rick?" I heard Chris knocking on the bathroom door gently.

"Yeah, fine." In reality he made it worse. He could only remind me of the shit I did. 

"Okay, well, I've got to go out with Devin today, remember?" He continued yelling through the door.

"Okay, fine." I felt more heaving coming on as his footsteps were heard walking away. Great, another day with her. I wish I was excited...I wish I didn't care.

"You okay?" (Y/N) asked me as I came down the stairs and into the kitchen where the smell of pancakes nauseated me even more after heavily brushing my teeth. I could still taste the retched flavor in my mouth.

"Yeah. Just stressed out." I simply stated. I didn't want her to feel bad about what happened the night before. "I heard you had a fun time last night."

"Oh." She blushed wildly. Her flushed face was one of the most adorable sights to wake up to in the morning. I giggled, looking down at the kitchen counter and into the bowl of cereal I made. 

"Don't you need me?" I whispered, hoping she wouldn't hear. I didn't want to sound like some desperate loser.

"Listen, Ricky, about last night...I think we should just be friends." I heard the hesitation in her voice.

"I don't want that." I answered her, looking up and shaking my head. "I'd rather keep knocking around."

"Ricky." She said my name again. It sounded like sugar falling out of her sweet lips. I put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it, the smoke getting in her eyes. "If we keep doing this, I'll never be able to make it right." I could tell the remorse she had for Chris.

"Maybe you'll change your mind." I inhaled heavily on the murderous, white cylinder. 

"You're never going to give up, are you?" She chuckled lightly.

"Nope." I smiled at her quietly.

"Someday we might." (Y/N) sighed. At least there was that one glimmer of hope. Chris burst through the front door, startling us both.

"Hey, beautiful." He pushed the hair off of her shoulder, kissing her neck heavily as I watched her knees go weak. I awkwardly stood there, pretending not to notice.

Chris ran up the stairs, bounding on every other one with his long legs, something I could never do. Maybe he is better for her.

"(Y/N)." I stated as she started to wash pans in the sink that couldn't fit in the filled dishwasher.

"Ricky...please don't. It can only lead to disaster." She promised me.

"You don't know that." I sighed. I felt like giving up, but my mother taught me to never give up...no matter what. It's cheesy, but it hasn't failed me yet.

"I think I know pretty well. So far in my life, no story has had a happy ending..."