For the sake of friendship.

Monday, October 8, 2012.

“HAZEL!!!!!”

Catherine shouted my name. My name’s heard all over our school’s wide hallway. She ran to me, Hugged me so tight. Then she told me something that caused my heart to break.

“Kyle’s my boyfriend now!”

My heart was hit by a fast moving train. It was smashed into small microscopic pieces smaller than an atom. I can’t explain how hurt I was and yet no matter how much I wanted to, tears won’t fall from my eyes.

“Hey, you got nothing to say?”

“Uhm, Catherine, … Congrats. I am happy for you. I mean for the both of you.”

“Thank you so much Haze. You know, if not because of you, I think, Kyle won’t have the chance to tell me he love’s me. He said he’s shy and he only got the guts to approach me when you told him I like him.”

“Uhm, how long did he court you?”

“He didn’t. He just told me he loves me a while ago then I told him that I want to be his girlfriend. He agreed. So, we’re together now.”

“It’s just as easy as that?”

“Yeah.”

“Good for you.”

I was shocked when she told me Kyle didn’t court her. I didn’t expect that it will be just as easy as that. I didn’t expect that it was so easy for my heart to break. I wish things will be perfect. I want to be happy for them but I can’t avoid getting mad and jealous. I mean, Kyle’s supposed to be mine.

I was out of my mind all day. I wasn’t able to listen on our discussions. I think I will fail. I hate everything that happened. I hate that I chose her over Kyle. I hate to know that I am the very reason I’m hurt.

“Haze”

Someone called me. It was Kyle’s voice. I turn around and I saw him. He’s walking towards me. I don’t know what to do. I had mixed emotions. I am happy, I am angry, I am sad, I want to cry, I want to shout, I want to slap his face and tell him how hurt I was when Catherine told me they’re together. I want to tell him straight that I want him to be my guy. I want to tell him that I want him to leave Catherine for me. But that’s so inappropriate. So I just stayed calm.

“I heard you and Cath are together now. Congrats. I am happy for the both of you.”

“Do you know how hurt I am? Do you know how hard this feeling is? I hate to know that I am with someone I do not and will never love. But I am doing this for you. I want you to be happy. I will do everything just for you.”

“I am so touched. Thanks. Because of you, Catherine and I became closer. Thanks a lot.”

“Are you really like that?”

“Kyle what do you want me to do? Get into the story, ruin your relationship and become a villain? I don’t want to. I just want to be simple. I won’t care about you and Catherine. Just try to do what you think will be the best for everybody.”

“Hazel, I want to be with you.”

“But Catherine wants to be with you.”

“With whom do you want to be with?”

“Kyle, if you can’t love Catherine the way she loves you, go find another girl. But I don’t want it to be me. You’ll ruin things. Kyle, I want you to stay away from me.”

“Please don’t do this to me”

“You have to. Catherine will be jealous of me if you continue approaching me. You will break our friendship. So please, Kyle, stay away from me, starting today.”

I saw tears fell down from Kyle’s eyes. I felt guilty but I have to stay strong.

“Kyle, I am so sorry. I just have to do this for the sake of our friendship.”

I went back to my classroom.