For the sake of friendship.

Regret.

December 2013, Christmas Party….

Last month, I tried to reconcile with Catherine. She played hard to get and still, I haven’t got her friendship back. I’ve already lost hope since I realized that there’s no expiration in this non-ending one-sided hate relationship. Catherine’s heart is really very hard for me. I regret what I did. I shouldn’t have gotten myself into a relationship with Kyle. I knew that this could happen yet I still let myself be careless and I accepted Kyle’s offer to be his girlfriend. I admit that I enjoyed that short period of time being in a relationship with Kyle. But seeing Catherine fall apart because of that made me change my mind. It hurts a lot letting Kyle go. But I know I made the right choice.

“Cath…”

I tried. …… AGAIN.

“How many times should I tell you not to talk to me?”

She shouted.

“I…”

“STOP TRYING HAZEL! I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I have lots of friends. I don’t need you in my life. A piece of advice…. go back to where you came from.”

Catherine walked out.

Hey... it’s Christmas. People should be forgiving, loving, caring…. But things don’t appear that way. I’ve felt tears streaming down my face. I can’t do anything to make my life better. Maybe I have to change me being overthinking. I always react to life’s troubles above the normal reaction. There are no chances of us getting back together as friends. I should also let Catherine go.

February 14, 2014. Friday.

I am wondering how many friends would give me gifts this Valentine’s Day. I received a bouquet of roses last year. That was from Kyle. A teardrop fell from my left eye and I quickly wiped it out. Reminiscing those days is still very hurtful for me. I want Kyle back but I know that we are never getting back together. I stabbed him hard when I broke up with him. I can feel the pain by just looking through his eyes. I’ve already accepted that he could never forgive me.

Lunch Break.

People gathered around in one spot in the cafeteria. I can hear girls screaming and teasing like there’s a romantic scene being played. Curiosity found me so I ran there to take a quick peek of what’s going on.

“Oh my gosh! He’s going to kneel!!” Grace screamed.

Kneel? He? Wow! Somebody’s going to propose, I guess. It really suits the Valentine atmosphere. Who’s the lucky girl? I tiptoed to get a glimpse of what’s happening.

Jaw dropped. Eyes burning. I cannot endure the pain in my heart when I saw Kyle kneeling before Catherine. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I wish to close my ears so that I won’t hear him saying “I love you Catherine.” But I couldn’t!

“I love you Catherine”

Kyle said while offering Catherine a huge bouquet of pink roses.

People’s screams grew louder. Girls push each other, teasing and laughing. Everybody’s happy with what they are seeing except for me. I want to cry but there are no tears coming out. My feet are glued to the ground as I continue watching the tormenting scene.

“We’ve been through hard times, Catherine. I know we had a rough start. I’m very sorry for breaking up with you last last year. That was a huge mistake. I shouldn’t have done that. These past few days I realized that I need you in my life. Please accept me back into your life. I promise to be better. I love you so much.”

That was the longest line I heard Kyle said. Catherine must be very lucky. Those words pierced me hard. I couldn’t continue breathing. This is a great defeat. I cannot have Kyle back.

Catherine accepted the bouquet. Kyle stood up and they both smiled.

“This is the best Valentine’s gift ever, Kyle. Thank you. I’ve waited long enough for this. I’ve experienced death but now it’s like I am born again. Thank you for realizing everything. I love you so much… and if I ask you could I be your girlfriend for the second time, would you accept me?”

Catherine said.

Kyle embraced her. That killed me.

“Of course. I would be the happiest guy in the world.”

People yelled, whistled, laughed and teased. Some even threw confetti poppers. I wondered where it came from. The lunch break turned out to be a Valentine’s celebration, a reunion… everybody’s enjoying the scene. I pulled myself out of the group and ran towards the comfort room to seek for comfort. I cried and cried there. My knees felt very weak and I’m tired of all these regrets and humiliation. I have done loads of wrong decisions in my life. Losing Kyle is the greatest setback I ever felt.

Regrets.

Kyle and Catherine are now back together. I lost them both. Now I’m all alone. I should’ve not over acted when Catherine got mad. I shouldn’t have let Kyle go.

Now that everything’s in proper place with people’s lives now, I shouldn’t interfere. I have to deal with life’s difficult exams. Life is not unfair. You just have to make the right decisions and act normally as you could so that nothing would be hard.

The End.

©antonette09 10/26/12

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