So, he left as planned. Hindi na sumama si Rita sa airport, baka kasi di kayanin ni Ken at hindi na ito umalis.
Nag-message nalang si Ken noong boarding na ang eroplano. Agad-agad naman siyang tinawagan ni Rita.
"Goodbye, Ken. I'm excited for you. Kahit na ayaw kitang umalis...If this is what you want, susuportahan kita because I promised you... I will miss you so much..."
"I'll miss you too... Take care of yourself, okay?"
"Yes. Ikaw din... Keep in touch, please?"
"Once a month. Nothing more, nothing less. I think yun ang best. Just friends, updating each other once in a while."
"But Ken..."
"Let's focus on ourselves first Ta, especially you...I don't think we're ready yet. I told you, it doesn't feel right..." Ken insisted.
"Sige." He is right, after all. Everything's still a mess. One step at time. "Basta, don't forget about me, please. Nandito ako, maghihintay sa'yo..." She's been so unfair to him all these years. If she wants him to trust her love again, they need to do this in his terms.
"Goodbye, Ta. Lilipad na kami."
"Keep safe."
...
True to his word, he didn't contact her until about a month after he left. They decided to go old-school. No video calls. Text messages, a voice call and a mailed letter once in a while. It would have been romantically sentimental, if she didn't know that it was Ken's way of guarding himself from becoming too attached. He was serious when he said that he wanted to distance themselves from one another.
"Hello Ta, kamusta ka?"
"Ok lang, ikaw kamusta diyan? Malamig ba?"
"Oo eh, lalo na malapit ako sa mountain..."
Their talks mostly lasted for hours, but even then they managed to talk about non-relationship topics. They talked about work, the places they've been to, and their families.
They chatted about the most mundane things; both not eager to go into the issue of their feelings. She badly wants to talk about it, but she reminds herself that this is them starting over, trying to piece themselves together.
Do you know about those little montages that happen in movies - where little subtitles indicate that significant time had passed and the characters made big changes in between? Real life doesn't work out that way. There are no shortcuts, no fast forwards. You have to endure everything: all the highs and the lows, all the joys and pains. And when you miss a person - the seconds feel like hours.
"Kamusta na kaya siya?" She wonders how he looks right now. Simula nung umalis siya ay hindi na ito nag-post sa social media. Well, he left the spotlight so it probably makes sense. Hindi naman siya manghihingi ng picture ni Ken sa family nito, that would beat the purpose of what they're doing.
Hindi na sila nagkita after their encounter sa coffee shop. They hugged and that was it. She hates that her last memory of his face was how he looked when he opened up about his pain - the pain she caused.
Oh God, how she misses him...She was trying to remember every little detail about him: his eyes that twinkle everytime he smiles, his soft lips that she loved to kiss. Habang pag-tagal ng loveteam nila at napapa-rami ang intimate scenes, she always wanted to give her best performance.
Back then, she thought that it was just purely passion for her craft. Little by little, she found that she was longing for it, enjoying it. That was when she got confused. She was taken. She wasn't supposed to feel that way.
