The Heartbreakers Of Avel High

Chapter 8

The cries of my alarm filled my room. I opened my eyes and just stared at my ceiling fan. Spinning around and round the room in circles. I felt around my bed until I found my phone, then proceeded to turn off my alarm.

I threw it back down onto my bed and rubbed my eyes. Arching my back I tightened my whole body and stretched. Groaning at the immense relief I felt while my body trembled and shook.

Relaxing my body I once again just stared at my ceiling. I have my purpose today. This past week has been a struggle. Not only have I been breaking character but I have also gained an insane amount of attention.

With my newfound determination, I'm going to be a shadow. Completely unnoticed and unheard. Most people don't notice me anyway, I'm a nobody that could disappear altogether. But today is different, not the being invisible part. The ignoring part, I don't mean I'm going to avoid them today. I mean completely ignore their presence as a whole.

After I formulated a plan I rolled out of bed and headed to the shower. I stared at my reflection in the mirror in disgust. Unable to even picture me from two years ago when mom was here.

My black hair was knotted, sticking up in random places, and stuck to my neck and forehead. My cheeks were hollow and dark bags were under my eyes that seemed permanent at this point. My eyes themselves were my usual bloodshot red and puffy from crying myself to sleep.

My freckles were scattered across my cheeks and nose but didn't do anything to fix the mess I usually am. My stomach rolled with repulsion, one part of me knows that I'm not actually ugly. But the other wants me to shatter the mirror so I don't have to look at myself. All the voices whispering in my ear all the time about how ugly and fat I am, left a toll on me.

I exited the bathroom to get the spoon I usually leave in the fridge out. So I can depuff my eyes, then I put eye drops in my eyes to get rid of the redness. After I don't look like I spent the whole night crying or high off my ass I shower.

I didn't even look at my body in the mirror out of disgust. For the thin pale scars on my upper thighs. Sophomore and junior year was a really dark place for me and hard. But I'm fine now, I tell myself again as if this time it'll actually work.

I dress in my go-to leggings and a dark hoodie, wanting to hide my body and self from judgemental eyes. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail so strands fell out on my neck and by my face. Then I threw all my stuff into my bag and zip it up. Hoping I'll be able to find everything for my classes.

I walked into the kitchen and scattered through the cabinets and fridge. Going in between the two as if something new would just appear. I sighed and grabbed a smores pop tart, which is by far the superior pop tart.

Opening it I balanced one in my mouth and the other in between my fingers as I grabbed my keys and water. Unlocking the front door with two fingers I kicked it open with my foot. I kicked it closed and locked it while unlocking my car with my other hand.

I walked to the car and threw my shirt into the passenger seat. I made sure to check the back seat just in case, then got ready to go. I connected my Spotify playlist to the car and it was playing XXXtentacion loudly.

I took a deep breath and reversed, making my way to hell; nevermind, I mean school.

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In the parking lot, I put in my headphones and played the music loud enough to burst an eardrum. I secretly hoped I did so I didn't have to listen to these people's bullshit anymore.

I stuffed my excess shit into my bag and headed into the school. I walked into the crowd of people and tried to drown out my creeping anxiety with my music. I sped up wanting to get ahead of the crowd but kept my head down until I was inside of school.