The Village Girl

Chapter Eight - [Seetha]

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-Luckycharms

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Lady Suhanya came very quickly, but when she came, nothing changed. Though it wasn't that I thought she was going to help me get him back. I knew that she knew this had to be done.

She was a midwife after all.

But at the very least, I thought she would say something. Anything.

Instead, she just hugged me as I cried, as if she too had no words.

I tried to tell myself that I was being unreasonable. That this wasn't as bad as I thought. But every time I did so, I would realize it was. Aaryan's mother had him. She would keep him away from me as much as possible. She would want me to be as far away from the son of a prince as possible.

I just knew it.

Soon, there was a knock at the door.

When Lady Suhanya left me and opened the door, we were both surprised to see the Maharajah.

The second he stepped into the room though, Lady Suhanya put a hand on his chest and stopped him with a glare. "You allowed this?"

The Maharajah frowned at her "Why are you shocked?" He asked. "You should know better than anyone else that this is what happens. What should happen."

Lady Suhanya did not stop frowning. "But Aaryan-"

"Aaryan needs to remember who he is. And he needs to think about who his son will soon be."

When Lady Suhanya scoffed at him, he walked past her and came to me. "I am sorry, Seetha," he said. "I did not realize that she would come and take him so soon. I had hoped to talk to you first."

I couldn't respond to him.

I sat on my bed, hugging my legs and pressing my cheek against my knee. I was hugging myself tightly, trying to stop the fear and the aching in my heart.

Right now, I hated him.

I didn't care if he had been kind to me in the past. I hated him for taking my son away from me.

He hesitated. I think he was able to read me because he sighed and sat on the bed next to me. "You are not forbidden from seeing him, child. You can go whenever you want, you just need to ask-"

"I need permission to see my own son?" I snapped. My voice was icy enough to make the King of our lands flinch.

He let out a breath. "This is how-"

"You want a stranger to feed him and care for him?" I asked. "Why? Because I am a peasant? You don't want your feature king to thrive off of a peasants milk-"

"Seetha, you know that is not true. Wet nurses are also lower class women-"

"Then why don't you let me do what I am meant to do?" I cried, raising my voice. "He is my son! Do you expect some stranger to love and care for my child better than I can?"

"My child, this is how things have been done for generations-"

"Do not call me your child," I snapped again, beginning to cry. "My father would never have done this to me or to my baby. My father would have done everything he could to keep my child with me."

The King's frown was deep. I knew I had offended him and I was pleased. I wanted him to feel at least a little pain... at least a little bit of what I was feeling. After a moment, he continued, more sternly now. "It is not a queen or a princesses job to raise a baby," he said. "Her job is to continue to produce heirs. You cannot do this if you are nursing-"

"It is my job to be a mother to my child!" I shouted. "If I don't do that, then how do you expect him to grow into a stable and proper man-"

He began raising his voice too, though not as to shout, moreso just to speak over me. "He will be fine-"

"Like your sons?" I shouted back, shocking him. "Like Aarun, who has absolutely nor morals? Or like Akshaw? WHo is so isolated and anti-social that I have never exchanged any words with him? Or maybe like Aaryan? Who claims he does not love his family and can cripple his own brother without batting an eye?"

Now the King looked angry.

"You want to tell me that that is okay? You want-"

"That is enough." His voice boomed, even Lady Suhanya jumped, though I just bit my lip angrily. I knew maybe I was taking this too far, but I was angry. "My sons may not be as emotionally stable as you like, but they are princes. For the most part, they do their jobs well. Aaryan being the best example of that... and as a member of the royal family, that is what is important."

I looked away, knowing that if I said anything else, I would make it worse for myself.

"Seetha..." he put a hand on my shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "I care about you... really. I want you to be happy... but there are some traditions we cannot change. If we want our world to continue the way it is going now, then we cannot change it."

My heart continued to ache. All I could think of was how much I wanted them to give my son back to me.

"If you want nobles to stop criticizing your every move, you need to do what is expected of you. You need to get yourself ready to produce another heir. That needs to be your priority. The most successful queens are the ones who produce the strongest family-"

I wasn't listening anymore. I could not find myself accepting such a flawed truth. How would producing more heirs be more significant than loving your children? How could quantity be more important than quality when it came to human beings.

And why would I have more children if I could not raise them. I was a mother now and that was what being a mother meant.

My mother raised me. My mother raised my brothers. She and us who we were and she loved us more than anyone else did. No one could ever love us more than our mother did... and it was my father who taught me that.

He taught us that, blood or not, a person who takes on all the responsibilities of a mother, that is the person in this world who loves you most.

I knew none of these wet nurses wanted to be the mother of my child. Not while I was still alive.

No one could love him more than I could.

And if he grew up with that love... he would think the way Aaryan did. He would be lonely and think he had no family. And maybe... if I continued to have all my children taken away from me, I would become Aaryan's mother. Cold and cruel and unable to understand my own flesh and blood. How could I allow that?

After a moment of silence, the King sighed and stood up. "It will get better, love," he said. "I assure you, it will."

I did not respond. I knew he was lying.

He squeezed my shoulder again and stepped away, but just as he did, he hesitated. "Seetha... please don't forget what we discussed in Nandioor."

I didn't. I did not forget that he wanted me to be careful of what I said to Aaryan.

I knew immediately that he wanted me to hide my feelings from him, and it made me angrier.

When I didn't respond, he continued. "Aaryan loves you. He will do anything for you... but doing anything for you could hurt him in the long run. And I know you don't want to hurt him... so be weary of what you share with him... is that understood?"

I still didn't respond. I just pressed my face into my legs and cried.