Death Stranding: Higgs

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Slowly Healing

-Sam's POV- I watch Higgs sleep, his face slightly twisted in pain. His back is a sewed up mess of pulled together flesh, metal, and thread.
The skin that isn't red with irritation is streaked with dried blood. We had stripped him of the upper part of his Porter uniform and ripped away the dark grey tank top that was also torn to shreds.

But where did Mama drive off to? Probably a major city to let Bridges know that Higgs is in danger or possibly dead. That information is a bit worrying.
I scan Higgs over.

He looks physically fit just by looking at his arms. His breathing is slightly raspy, hitching from time to time before letting it out in a sigh. It still sounds like he is in some minor pain.

I just hope the numbing shot kicks in soon so he can properly rest. Along with helping my men patch up Higgs, I noticed a necklace on him with complex mathematical equations carved into the slabs of metal.
What is it's purpose? Neither my men nor I can physically remove it. The necklace crackles with energy if we try to touch it. Looks like it will have to stay on Higgs for the time being.
****
An hour passes as I begin to nod off as well.
Sitting in the chair, I'm forced to slump backwards with my chin resting on my chest.
"Sam?" I jerk awake, nearly falling out of my chair in the process.
I blink, rubbing my eyes. "Yeah?" I murmur.
"You okay? You look uncomfortable in that chair. How long was I out?" He asks, looking at me.

"About an hour," I answer, yawning. "Maybe a bit longer." He focuses his gaze to look at me.

"Do you love me?"

I pause, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. "Sorry?"
"You know what I said," He says. "Do you love me?"
I lean back in my chair, listening to the rain fall for a moment.
"Love is somewhat of a strong word, isn't it?" I ask, crossing my arms. "The feelings I have towards you....How do I word this? I have a....possessive urge to keep you within my sight. Not like a stalker, far from it. More like..." I snap my fingers, trying to think of the correct word.

"Like a guardian?" He fills in.
"I guess," I admit. "Losing people that I care about has really taken a toll on my mental health, you see. I have Thantophobia, meaning I fear losing anyone that I care for, including you."

I see color flow to his cheeks in...shyness? Embarrassment? "Is..that a good thing?"
"I view it more as a burden, honestly." I answer.
"Can I try and sit up? I'm loosing feeling in my legs."

"Sure." I walk over and grab Higgs' arm, slowly pulling him up. He puts his feet on the floor and sits up. His face twists in slight discomfort, but he otherwise looks okay.
The strange necklace he wears thumps against his chest, but he doesn't seem to notice it.
He lets out a small laugh almost akin to a wheeze.

"Never thought I'd have the leader of the Homo Demens see me without a shirt on. And to think you wanted to catch me taking a shower in my private room."
I smile, sitting back down across from him.
"Might as well tease you when I can, Porter."

Silence passes between us for a minute.
"Do you guys have showers here? I feel like I need one badly."
I frown, shaking my head. "'Fraid we don't, darlin'. Since we move around so much, we don't have access to much clean water. But we do have a hot spring close by."

"I doubt I'd be able to soak in it," Higgs huffs. "The wounds on my back might sting from the heat."
"I figured you would be more mad at me for what I did to you." I mutter, looking away.

"Before I knew of your past, I would have been pissed. But since I know about all you've been through, I can't stay mad. Not for long, at least."
He shivers, rubbing his arms. "It's getting kinda cold in here."

I get up and grab a blanket, draping it over his back. He flinches at this, looking at me with surprise. "Thank you," he smiles.
"No problem, sweetheart."
He brushes some of his hair away from his eyes and sighs, flicking his Cuff Link on.

"You said you have a possessive urge to have me," He begins, not looking up from the hologram. "Then why kiss me? Why keep up the affection?"
"You look like you need it, Higgs." My tone is serious. "I can see the same sadness in your eyes that are in mine. The way you become embarrassed tells me affection rarely happened to you before we met."

He inhales, but doesn't say anything. I think I hit a nerve with him. Lovely.
"Let me get you something to eat. I won't be long."
I get up and exit the tent, putting my hood on and walk over to the tent where we keep all of our food.