Unexpectedly Regular | Kim Namjoon

18

As soon as the sunlight touched her skin through the window, Nara woke up. It was no longer surprising to wake up next to Namjoon. They had fallen asleep on the sofa and if felt comfortable to stay the whole night on each other's arms. She watched his sleep for a while, whishing it could be like this every day. She stretched and went to the bathroom, but as soon as she returned, she heard a frustrating recall that her mornings could not be like that every day. The annoying sound of his alarm clock filled the room.

While Joon moved around on the sofa before getting up, she sat again in front of her computer and turned it on. She intended to keep writing, but all she did was sit in front of the screen and stare at it blankly. Nara could feel Joon's gaze over her.

-Would it be hard for you to be like this more often?

-Writing?

As she turned around, she saw on his sleepy face and shrugged body possibilities blooming.

-No. Just... being here. You say you have things to solve when you go back to Brazil, but what if after that you come here to write?

Nara glared emptily at the computer screen and Joon finally stood up and walked towards her. He sat on the chair next to hers.

-I think it's a good way to get to know each other better. I mean, I do like you and I want to have you with me but...

-It's too soon to make such a great long-term plan!

-Exactly, Nara, it's too soon for us to take any big steps but I don't wanna stand still either.

His fingers run through Nara's hair while he waited for her reaction.

-It's too soon, Namjoon! I don't know when I'll be able to do that, there are many problems to solve, maybe I'll take years to handle everything. And I don't even know if I'll be a real writer.

-You don't need to be anything other than what you are to be here with me. I can support you until you have a solid career. It won't be a problem.

Nara smiled. It was soothing to know Namjoon wanted her near her that much. It was also heartwarming to realize surviving, paying bills and being someone would never be a problem while he was around. However, that was not how she had planned her life. She wanted to have her own solid career and it was never an option to depend on any other person but herself. Yet he was right to say that if they both liked and wanted to keep each other on their lives they needed to learn more about each other. Distance could never allow them to be really present into each other' routines, no matter how technology could help. There was still another point she kept quiet about so far. Now she had an opportunity to talk about it.

-I need to take my time and I can't tell you how long I will take to be able to come here again and maybe more frequently and... - Nara took a deep breath – I also have a family and a life I can't leave behind, you know... I've told you about all of that. But I don't know, what bothers me more is that I could never live like this, traveling so much, meeting you in hotel rooms forever, always having short time between your busy schedule, being secretive and discreet about the affection I feel. It may be cultural, it may be because you are a public person, I don't know but what I know is I don't wanna be here available for you all the time while you're not.

He kept silent. There was not much he could say.

-I understand what you say. And I don't plan to live this life for longer either. But for a while, I'll be like that. I don't have many other options now. I have to make a smooth transition to that life.

It was her time to run her fingers through his hair.

-So, I guess we both have questions to solve before we meet again in life. We both need time and we don't know what will go on during that period.