Unexpectedly Regular | Kim Namjoon

19

-How's writing?

Namjoon asked over the phone and it was easy to feel through his voice how hectic his morning was. He had spent it rehearsing so that he could record a new music video on the upcoming week and now, judging from the background noise and voices interacting with him every now and then, he was probably having his hair and makeup done for the fan event.

-How's writing?

Nara repeated the question, not because she was surprised or didn't understand it, but because she needed time to think about it. She had spent the whole morning writing. As she was tired after going to the concert and waiting for Namjoon to get to the hotel room, she had used those few hours to spare her body physically, not walking around Seoul, although she could have used that opportunity to do so. Instead, she turned her computer on and kept developing her characters from the point she stopped. She was a fast writer and although she knew she was maybe being over ambitious, she also thought that maybe, at least the first act of her story could be finished before she left. That would be a good point to stop before going home. She knew that having one third of a story written would be enough to stimulate her to finish writing it. Nara has written many short stories of her own, but never something so big. It was challenging but it was also fulfilling to learn she could really produce so much. That didn't mean she wasn't certain about the quality of her work. Professor Moon never complained about it, but as Nara shared her insecurities on that aspect of writing, she recommended showing others what she had written so far.

She was never really shy about her writing, she just didn't trust people's opinions on her work. Every time she received compliments, Nara believed people were just being kind, using adjectives that were way too lovely. Apart from professors and teacher, she never showed her drafts to people who could understand the craft of writing. She wanted an honest opinion coming from someone who maybe had similar mundane struggles as her, but who also knew the hardships of telling a story using words.

The colleagues on her writing group were struggling with their own writing so Nara asked Angie or Gabi to do it, even though they were not the specialized readers she looked for. They were, however, often too busy spending the night together, studying for texts they would have on the following weeks. She had no one to ask for help in this situation.

-I wrote quite a lot. I'm almost done with the first part now, and I need a reader to give me some feedback, but it's hard to...

-It could be me! – Namjoon's voice showed a consciously moderate enthusiasm – If you don't mind, off course!

Namjoon had his own experience writing. He had done this very same course before and she knew he was good with words. The lyrics he was used to write were pure poetry and although she feared feeling some embarrassment because she would never have the depth and quality of his work, it would also be a bonding experience.

-I'd love to see what you think of my work, I just wonder if you'll have time for it. I mean, I won't you be busy again?

-Well, I'll have to be on location recording soon, but the toughest work has passed, for now. There's lots of waiting in the process and I could use some good reading to pass the time.

-I'm not sure if it's good reading – she hesitated – but it's reading. As soon as I finish the first part I'll send the file so you can read it. Be honest on your feedback, will you?

-Sure, I will, but anyway it will be interesting to finally know more about you. I mean, you already know my music, so now it's my turn, right?

-I don't know all you write, Namjoon... I never heard the one about wolves and sheep, for example.

-Oh – he sounded really surprised – you remember that!

-It called my attention, so I'm curious about it...

-It's not finished and I don't know its destiny yet, but inspiration came and I couldn't let it go. So, - he stopped, apparently considering the possibilities - you wanna hear it?

-I think it's fair!

-So I'll send the file, then. Will you give me honest feedback as well?

Nara didn't expect it at all. She just thought it was a good way to get to know more about him and how he was feeling at that moment, as his music was usually so personal. There was a touch of a curiosity in her requirement as well, as he had written a song about something she had shown him.

-Oh, come on! You're a well-known, critically acclaimed artist, and awarded lyricist and producer, so who am I to give my opinion?

-The woman I love – Namjoon ended his sentence abruptly after realizing the words that came out of his own mouth and as Nara needed her own time to take a breath after hearing them, he went on. – I trust your talent and I know you are a fellow dedicated writer so...

-Did you just...?

-Yeah, I said it. – He admitted – I have too little control of myself, I shouldn't have done it over the phone, maybe...

-Repeat it!

-The woman I love. I love you. I love you, Nara. You are the woman I love.

Nara could not answer him yet. It was the first time she ever heard that in her whole life. She could not expect to hear that from him, and even less so fast.

-See you in a while – it was all she could say before putting her phone down suddenly.

She didn't even wait for his answer. She needed some time to feel it, although she couldn't really believe it. Hearing the words spoken had an absolutely different sensation than just knowing, somehow, that this was love. He seemed to be a man who was loyal to with own words. Not only they were what he worked with, but they were also the way through which he showed himself. Nara spent all the way going to the fan sign to believe what he said. He loved her, and now maybe her whole life felt different.