Bloodstream | Nate Jacobs

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Song for this chapter: 3 years - The Ivory 

I could feel the sensation of Nate's warmth pooling into my already sweaty body, we laid in silence listening to our panting breaths and accelerated heartbeats.

"Am I still not your type?" Nate teased, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Nope," I replied quickly while stretching my neck out to kiss Nate's cheek softly before laying my head back down onto his tacky chest. The sweat was now drying on our skin and our shower proved to be useless.

"Good," Nate answered, "That is why I love you. Are you done acting crazy yet?"

"Mm," I answered quietly.

I was slightly offended at the fact that Nate had just called me crazy, but it wasn't like I could deny my actions. Today has been one hell of a day, and it amazes me that he has stayed relatively calm today even though I have tested his patience in more ways imaginable.

"How do you feel about us spending less time together?" I question softly, bring my hand up to my lips. I was craving a cigarette badly but Nate would complain if I got up to go and have one so I would have to settle with biting at the skin on the side of my fingers.

"I hate it," Nate answered rather quickly, "I hate it so damn much. I would rather be fucking my hot girlfriend then spending time with a bunch of fucking morons."

"It has been a little lonely," I confessed, "But we haven't been fighting as much so it must be good."

"I miss fighting with you though," Nate chuckled. His hands stretched forward and his rough fingers gripped at my inner thigh tightly. His fingers dug themselves into one of the many bite marks causing a whimper to escape from my lips.

"Well, maybe we don't need to have as much space as we have been giving each other. I don't really know how to do this whole relationship thing well you know? We both seem to have the same attitude of it 'it's all or nothing' so it's a lot harder I guess," I murmured, the anxiety forming in my chest. Was this all too much right now? Should I stop talking or should I confess to Nate how I have been really feeling since our time apart?

"So um, I talked to my mom," I spoke up, biting down on my lip waiting for his response.

"Oh?"

"Yeah about all of the stuff that you have been asking me lately. And she thinks it would be a good idea for us to move away after graduation and she even took your side, on the whole, having a kid thing."

"And has your answer changed since then?" Nate examined, a hint of excitement lingering on his words.

"Yes," I admitted.

"And?"

Damn, he was really going to make me say it all right now. But what did I really expect from this conversation?

"I want to move away with you after graduation. And maybe in the future if we can get our shit together having kids could be an option that we can talk about. Just because we are messed up doesn't mean that we can't be good parents."

"I don't say this enough but I am so fucking happy that I met you, Lily."

Nate's voice was soft and warm like the sun that leaked through an opened window on a summer afternoon, my heart was glowing with a warm sensation. Was it the anxiety of our topic or was I just that madly in love with him. Emphasize on the madly in love.

A new start would be nice, it would be really fucking nice. I mean there wouldn't be a dreadful past in the way of our bright future and maybe we would have a chance to breathe without the expectations that had been wrapped around us.

Sure, we were both really fucked up but at least we were self-aware that were are both toxic individuals, but it just works doesn't? We are both jealous, fucked up control freaks so at the end of the day we are the only two that understand how we feel. We lash out, we make mistakes, and sometimes we just need some time to regather our thoughts and think out our game plan. So it helps to know that we aren't going to call the cops on each other the second that one of us is out of control.

And since Nate is just like me, it makes it a lot easier to know that I can lose control and he will still be there at the finish line waiting for me to calm down. And something tells me that he would be the same with kids in the mix, we would be a family and he would be the father that he always wanted when he was growing up.

Nate squeezed me tightly in his embrace, his arm that was wrapped around my upper torso pulling my body closer into his as his lips pressed to the top of my forehead gently.

"Just don't get too soft on me," Nate cooed, "I still need my little gremlin who keeps me on my toes every day."

"I'm not getting soft," I whined, pouting out my bottom lip at his offensive words.

"Mm," Nate breathed out, the exhaustion clear in the simple breathy sound that came from his throat.

"I love you, I just want to make you happy," I whispered out softly, running my fingers over his bare chest ever so gently before pressing my lips to his chest delicately.

He made a simple noise in approval before we were both lulled away into our sleep.

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Authors note: This might be a little long so I apologize in advance

Hey, guys, I would just like to say thank you so much for being so patient with me. February 14th, my family woke up with some pretty terrible news, that my grandpa had passed away. So life has been very hectic with everything that has been going on and when I do get downtime my head isn't exactly there to write.

But I thank you all so much for all the kind words I have received and the love that you all shared on bloodstream.

Especially @MetalicaTheCrayPanda your comments yesterday actually left me a sobbing mess of happiness. I know my work is a fanfiction and it's not the greatest, but this is my passion and your words of encouragement meant so so much to me.

Sometimes as an author I can feel very insecure about my work and some days I can't stop but question if continuing bloodstream is even the right move anymore, but I am so eternally grateful for everyone who supports me and my weird little hobby.

Again, Bloodstream would be absolutely nothing without you guys so thank you so much