Sander Sides One Shots [For Now]

Worthless-Part One, Roman Angst

Takes place two weeks after Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts.
Trigger warnings: Roman angst
Feelings of worthlessness
Depression
Cutting
Author's note 5.29.20: This is created months before S vs S Redux so the Janus has yet to happen in this one shot. Just to let you all know

For the 5th time in the past hour, Roman checked the Twitter poll. A poll Thomas had posted earlier today "Who Is Your Favorite Sander Side Character?" Roman had expected to be in the middle like the poll Thomas posted after Selfishness vs Selflessness when Virgil took the top spot, Patton claimed 2nd, Roman was in the middle (although he felt he should have be placed higher) Logan followed in 4th and Deceit got last, which Roman found believable since Deceit was the Dark Side. Now Remus was added to the mix since his debut was almost two weeks and Roman was crushed by the results.

Virgil was still claiming the top spot with Logan and Patton ties for 2nd but here's the plot twist. Deceit had moved up to 3rd place while Roman's own brother Remus took 4th, which left the prince in last place with only 5% of the votes. He clicked refreshed again but the poll has been in stasis for the past ten minutes. Roman tossed the phone into a pile of stuffed animals (which looked  a lot like musical characters) and felt a slap burn across his face.

The recent poll wasn't the only reason Roman felt wounded. Logan had been pressuring Thomas more and more to get a 'real job' especially since Thomas and Roman were struggling to come up with video ideas. Logan only saw Thomas' acting and YouTube career as a joke and Roman tried so hard to please the logical side but it seemed nothing could or would ever be perfect for Logan.

The only reason Roman was still around was because Thomas needed inspiration for YouTube videos, but everyday the fanciful prince could slowly feel himself fading way. Roman couldn't even use his left arm for a majority of a day shortly after Remus appeared. No matter what Roman did or tried, it seemed to be a mistake that dragged all the other Sides down.

Roman could feel the urge of a summoning but decided to ignore it. All of them could choose to do it but it was rare for that to happen. "Roman?" He could hear the moral side's soft voice even though Patton wasn't even in Roman's room. "I'm not camera ready," the prince yelled to his empty room. It was true- not only did Roman feel a slap, but he could also feel bruises, a punch, cuts and there was a good reason he looked like he tried to take on a Dragon Witch without a sword. Earlier that day Thomas had a theater audition and for some reason ROMAN had caused him to blotch up.

*Flashback*
It had been when Roman had been questioning if Thomas was ready and it had spiral into chaos, with him wondering if he was good enough for both the stage AND the group, if he was being a good enough actor by keeping up his facade, if he was truly was happy. The performance aura Thomas relied on for strength got tainted, causing the pure rainbow gay to blotch and mess up. This caused Roman to feel insecure and retreat to his room only to see the poll Thomas put up on Twitter. *Over*

So both the poll and blotched audition was the reasons Roman was down in the dumps and feeling more useless than usual.

After spending a few trying and failing to come up with some good video ideas, Roman noticed the sun was starting to set in the kingdom of Imagination, which Roman's balcony looked over as his room was in the tallest tower of the Imagination Palace castle. Suddenly struck with a creative idea, Roman grabbed his guitar( a birthday gift from Virgil) and strolled out onto the balcony.

Roman watched peacefully for a few moments. The castle balcony overlooked Villa Costa, one of the bigger villages in Imagination. It was also Roman's favorite because it resembled straight out of a fairytale and it gave Roman hope that he truly was a prince and not a poser. With the sun setting as a background, Roman decided to sing. ^Play video^