kiss me (finished)

012

as soon as that door closed, it was over for hoseok. he fell to his knees as the tears clouded his vision. god I hope this is a soulmate thing and I'm not this much of a cry baby. he thought, seeing his almost pittiful reflection in the mirror.

he meant nothing be said that entire time. being the happy energetic kid is exhausting when you have to fake that...

he wanted more than anything to run after Yoongi and tell him what he really meant. but what would that do anyway, he said that was what he wanted. his goodbye was so,, official. so, tying up all the lose ends, like they weren't even friends now?

why did he get dressed up though? to make him feel worse? yoongi isn't like that... he looked handsome.. shut up hoseok!

he pushes himself up against the wall and just watched his reflection in the huge mirror. he hated his eyes,, he always thought they were too far apart. and his face was too long, kids in middle school use to say he looked like a horse... his teeth didn't help either, they we're too big, maybe that's part of it? Yoongi is so,, yoongi. so perfect, and I look like, this.

he closed his eyes and put his head against the wall behind him. god this sucks... I can't do classes today, I'll just not today.

he got up and huridly left the building, making sure no one saw his red nose or tear stained cheeks. god he needed a nap.

(time skip)

he woke up at around 5 pm, he hadn't been sleeping well anyway out of anticipation, and crying really takes it out of you huh.

he forced himself out of bed, carrying the scarf with him still, and made some instant ramen not having the energy to make anything else. he watched videos of puppies on his phone while he ate, and checked his text messages from jimin asking why he wasn't there worried.

he saw the group chat he had with Yoongi and his friends. not gonna be needing these I guess. he thought, hoseok starts deleting the GC and the numbers from it. when he got to yoongi's,, he just couldn't, he couldn't bring himself to delete it, so he didn't. hoseok was fully prepared to let that name live and die in his contacts.

he responded to jimin

Hoseok
hey yeah, i'm alright, i just didn't want to today,, sorry

💞💖Chim 🐥🌸
no no hyung, that doesn't seem like you at all... what happened?
you can tell me you know

Hoseok
yea, ik jimin,,
thank you, maybe later

💞💖Chim🐥🌸
hmm alright hyung...
but we are gonna talk about it.
i love you hyung,,, stay safe please

he threw his phone back on his couch, soon following it. this sucks.

i guess that's what he wanted,, and as long as this make yoongi happy, that's good enough for him, right? then, why does it hurt so much?

he felt pathetic, being hung up on some guy that didn't love-

like, didn't like him back. but then, it's not just some guy is it. it's his soulmate, the one that is supposed to love him unconditionally. the one who is supposed to care for him and receive care too. he wanted to take care of him and be with him, he wanted to spend his time with yoongi as much as possible, but maybe it's too late.

maybe another nap...

(time skip)

he actually didn't end up sleeping, just laying awkwardly curled up on his couch staring at his ceiling holding the grey fabric close to his chest. he looked out his window, noticing it was dark,, damn. he should probably get up, but he couldn't bring himself to move.