kiss me (finished)

009

.....Fuck

Did....did that actually just happen? 

As Yoongi quickly walked down the sidewalk, the cold air only effecting him now, as his tears stung against his cheeks from the chill around him. He held his jacket close to him, not waiting to put it on. He was miserable, to say the least.

The boy he liked... his fucking soulmate kissed him, and it was nice...really nice. His lips were as soft as he'd imagined. He felt so, safe. He always felt safe when in the presence of the younger boy. But this was different. Hoseok with his hand on his waist, clinging to him like he was his lifeline. He wanted to be held like that again, kissed like that again, specially by Hoseok.

As he walked onto a more main street, the sidewalks were now speckled with people. The amount of eyes that stared at the weeping boy didn't help the situation. He kept his head down, and tried not to run into anyone or anything through his blurry, tearful vision.

As he walked dawn the street, he collided with an intoxicated couple, well, one if them was drunk. "Hey! Watch it! I could have hurt my pretty face!" The tall man exclaimed, "s-sorry- wait, hyung?" He said, wiping his tear stained cheeks and finally getting a good look at the couple. Sure enough, it was Seokjin and Namjoon. The shortest boy didn't know how to feel, part of him wanted to be left alone, he deserved it after all, to be alone.

"Oh heeyy Yoongi! What are you doing?" He said loudly, thank god he's not that much of an obnoxious drunk. "Hi hyung," namjoon said, holding his soulmate up by the waist. "Wait, are you crying?" The tall boy said moving towards his friend, concerned. 

Immediately, his throat tightened, and his eyes weld up with tears. "U-uhm" he tried to form a sentence. That jared Jin, for the most part, but you cant really blame him. He still needed to be held up by his boyfriend. "Oh my sweet baby, what happened? Ill kill them, you know I will. Let me at em, no one messes with my friend" he said, trying his hardest to be intimidating, but with his face red from alcohol, and being held by his boyfriend.... he didn't look very scary.

Yoongi didn't know what to say, thankfully, Namjoon interrupted, "hey, why don't you go home with us, we were heading home anyway. That will probably be more comfortable and- oh my fucking god out your jacket on dumb ass." Yoongi did as he was told.

They started walking together, Jin wasn't completely wasted so that's a plus. Before long, Namjoon offered his hand to Yoongi as they walked, like he would do when they were kids. 

When Yoongi's parents fought, when he was around 14, he'd escape out his window and stay at Namjoon's. Neither set of parents minded. He'd use his spare key, and sit with Namjoon in his room, and he'd offer his hand. Even though Yoongi's hands were much bigger then his friend's, they always seemed small in moments like that. And this time was no different.

He accepted his friends offer and held to his free hand like it was his lifeline. He stopped crying so hard, beginning to just shake instead of sob, is that an improvement? Yoongi was just too tired to cry, and he could tell he looked like a mess, obviously. From having red eyes and nose, to being slumped over, and his shoes and hair wet from the water... great. 

They made it to the couples house in no time, thankfully. The lived a nice two bedroom apartment, Yoongi had been there when they bought it, and while they were even looking for a place to live together, other then Namjoon's dying apartment. To be frank, the only reason they (one of them being a college student) were able to live in a nice place like this was a mixture of incomes. Jin did well at the restaurant, he got an insane amount of tips, he was charismatic. And Namjoon sold his music, and made a pretty good profit. But also the  allowance Jin still got from his parents wasn't anything to sneeze at.

Although Seokjin protested, Namjoon got him to go to sleep. He walked out of their shared bedroom, to see Yoongi sitting on their couch clutching his jacket closer to himself. His deep voice startled Yoongi, "you wanna talk about it?" Yoongi shook his head, he felt bad enough for bothering the soulmates. "I really don't mind hyung, i want to know whats going on, i want to help." He said sitting down next to Yoongi.

He sighed, well, it wasn't the first time he'd cried in-front of Namjoon, and probably not the last. So, he did talk. He talked about all of it, from seeing him around the buildings of their college, to the dinner that he was forced into by his friends, to his call with Seokjin. He talked about the sleepover, and the pool. He didn't realize he was crying till Namjoon offered him a tissue. 

After he finished, Namjoon sat there in silence for a moment. Yoongi was scared he was mad at him for some reason, maybe for getting attached too quickly, or say "hey well it was your own fault! Imagine how he feels asshole!" Which would make it a 100 times worse. 

before he could comprehend what was happening, Namjoon's long arms were wrapped around him. instantly, he started crying again. they stayed there for a while. eventually, the younger pulled away.

"I love you.... but you fucked up," Yoongi laughed despite the harsh words, "thanks joon." he responded. "i just, don't know how to make it up to home, and, fuck. joon I messed up, I really like him. I don't know why I pulled away," he was interrupted, "it's the trauma sweetheart." joon said making Yoongi laugh,"shut the fuck up. I like, know why, but I don't think he's gonna end up like them, I don't think we will." he said looking down.

"have you looked at the mark yet? I only saw it briefly." Namjoon asked, getting up to get his friend water. "no, I'm nervous..." Namjoon  sighed, "go look at it dumb ass, you know where the bathroom is, and theres a hand mirror in the drawer."

Yoongi stood up, and hesitantly walked to the bathroom. pulling out the mirror he looked through the reflections. it, was beautiful. seeing Hoseoks name engraved into his skin, made him extremely happy, proud even. he wanted to see hoseok immediately. fuck, he wanted to fix this.

he wanted to be with him, he wanted to take the risk, he wanted to make it up to his soulmate. his soulmate. his, soulmate Jung Hoseok.

he ran out of the bathroom, "Namjoon!" he had a smile on his face. turning around Namjoon started to smile as well, seeing his hyung be happy again.

"look at it look at it look at it!!" he said, turning his back to Namjoon and looking down. "oooo" Namjoon said, his fingers grazing over the black fancy letters. "why the change of heart?" the tallest asked.

"honestly, I don't know. I just, really wanna make it up to him, I do wanna be with him... god that sounds cheesy... stop smiling idiot." he said trying to sound angry. "I'm just happy for you hyung, that's all."

"should I, talk to him at school? like, after school pull him aside? or uhh invite him over. oh fuck nevermind this was a mistake...." yoongi rambled," hyung wait-" Namjoon tried to say, "okay but what if he does regret it? or like, what if we do end up like my parents? or if he regrets it, or-"

this time, he was interrupted by a new voice, "Yoongi." he turned toward the door, and Jin was standing in the doorway. "obviously, you don't have to get together with him, even though you obviously do. but he deserves at least a explanation." he said walking over to the pair.

"you should still be asleep, hyung" Namjoon said as Seokjin walked over and kisses him on the cheek. "hush," he responded

"I think you should go see him after school, on Monday, and explain yourself, or even ask him out!" Jin said walking over to the mint haired boy, and putting his hands on his shoulders.

"I mean, yea.... yeah I guess..." he responded.

"You can stay here for tonight, since neither of you have classes tomorrow, right?" The both nodded, "great! And then Friday, you can go back to your place, i want you to figure it out for yourself, how to make it up to him, you can do that, right?" Yoongi nodded again. His emotions were everywhere today huh? 

He had already been thinking about what to do, and the only thing he felt he could do, would be write him a song. He'd have to work his ass off to get it done, most likely wouldn't be possible to finish, but Hoseok was worth it. 

After they finished getting ready for bed, he asked namjoon just as he was entering his bedroom, "hey joon-ah, can i borrow a notebook?" Namjoon smiled knowingly, "sure thing hyung."

And he started writing.