Tw: mentions of panic attack
I was bored in class so I scribbled a little heart in the middle of my palm, hoping that my soulmate would respond to it. Most people already knew who their soulmate was, but I had no idea, no girl had ever asked me out and I've never seen a girl have my marks on their hands. But I knew that I had a soulmate, because she always responded to my messages, she seemed like the best person in the world.
"Maybe we should tell each other our names, so that we can find each other, and like you know maybe go on a date since valentines is coming up"
I looked at my palm and smiled, I quickly scribbled a response.
"Yeah, but you go first because you'd probably be disappointed if you knew who I was..."
I frowned at my own message but closed my hand and waited for the familiar feeling of ink in my palm, it took a while though and I was begging to get worried.
"I would never be disappointed in who you are, I love your personality, and for the record my name is Awsten, Awsten Constantine Knight if you wanna be fancy, I would love to know your name"
I quickly read the note and felt my heart freeze, I carefully looked up at the guy who was sitting at the very front of the classroom, Awsten, the cutest boy that had ever existed in this world. I never thought that my soulmate would be a boy, sure I hoped that it would be, but never in my life could've I have DREAMED of the fact that Awsten fuckin Knight would be my soulmate.
My heart was pounding really hard, I couldn't tell Awsten that it was me, he would be disgusted, he was the guy that every girl wanted to have as soulmate, and since he didn't know who his soulmate was a lot of girls pretended to be his soulmate. I felt a tear escape my eye as I realised that my soulmate didn't love me, that my soulmate would be disgusted by me.
I started violently sobbing in the middle of class, but I didn't care, I didn't want to believe it, why couldn't my soulmate just had been some random girl, maybe she would've loved me?
-Hey are you okay Otto? I felt a hand on my back and lifted my head to meet his heterochromatic eyes, Awsten.
-Y-yeah, I'm f-ine... I choked out as more tears left my eyes, basically the whole class was staring at me in either disgust or confusion.
-Do you wanna leave the classroom to calm down? I'll come with you, let me just tell the teacher... Awsten said and pulled me up from my desk.
-Hey were gonna go out of the classroom for a little while, Otto is having a panic attack and he needs to calm down. Awsten said to the teacher who just waved at us to leave the classroom.
-Otto I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry... Awsten spoke and I looked at him in confusion.
-For what? You haven't done anything to me? You literally haven't spoke to me ever in your life? I said and chuckled sadly.
He didn't respond, he just looked into my eyes and before I knew it his soft lips were on my chapped ones, I felt my heart almost pop out of my chest.
-I've known for years... I just didn't wanna scare you by telling you, because you know, I'm a boy and you're also a boy... Awsten as I carefully pulled away.
I just put my head on his shoulder and felt his arms wrap around my body, this is what safe feels like, and I loved it.
