SPLINTERED HEART {GIRL×GIRL} [ON HIATUS]

I'M A MESS

"I'm not perfect,
I make mistakes,
I hurt people.
But when I say sorry, I mean it."

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After Abigail's departure, Aoife and Gemma were waiting for Megan and Daniel.

"What happened between you and Abby?" Gemma asked out of sudden. Aoife looked at Gemma but she avoided her gaze.

"N.. Nothing" Aoife said.

"I'm sure there's something that happened between you both. I clearly observed Abby being quiet after the lunch break. So spill it." Gemma said stubbornly.

"I said it's nothing!! Nothing happened between me and Abigail. Just stop asking me what happened!" Aoife whisper-yelled.

"Okay, then keep that shit with yourself." Gemma said and turned around towards the gate, facing her back to Aoife. Aoife sighed. She tapped her best friend's shoulder to get her attention. But Gemma didn't turn around. She tried so much but Gemma didn't turn for once. 

By that time Daniel walked towards them. As he reached towards them, he noticed the air was thick here, so he decided not to interfere in it. After a minute, Megan arrived and picked them up. Aoife sat in the passenger seat, while Gemma and Daniel sat in the back seat.

The drive from school to Gemma's house was silent. Daniel and Megan sensed that something is wrong between them but didn't dare to ask them. Megan dropped Gemma to her house. She said goodbye to both of them, except Aoife. She ignored her and walked inside her house.

As she walked inside, Megan drived through their house. As she parked the car in the garage, Aoife got out of the car and immediately entered the house and walked upstairs to her room, without greeting her grandmother.

She entered her room, threw her bag on the couch, ran into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. As she closed the door, she suddenly broke down in tears. She sat down on the bathroom floor, bursting into tears.

She was trying to lower down her sobbing noise, but she failed. She cried like that for almost 10 minutes. Her sobbing died down but tears were still rolling down from her eyes.

Warning: Self-harm (You may skip it, if you want. I'll add '***' at the beginning and at the end. So you can skip it)

*****

She stood up from the bathroom floor and walked towards the cabinet above the sink and took out her black wooden box. She opened the box and removed a shiny and sharp pocket knife. After picking the knife, she kept the box in its designated place and walked towards the full length mirror which was in a corner of the bathroom.

She striped herself down except for undergarment. She stood in front of the mirror. Her arms and thighs were full of old and fresh scars. There were some burnt marks on her stomach. Her eyes were red and puffy due to crying.

"Everyone is right about you, Aoife. You are pathetic, you are worthless, you are useless, you are a freak, you are fat, you are ugly and you are slut. No one loves you. Your step-father, your friends and the person you loved were right about you. Look at you! You are a loser, you are a user, you are hater. You are a mess and fucked up. You are selfish. You hurted the person who cares for you. And you know what, you are a coward too. Can't even face the person you hurted, just because they cared for you." Aoife said in her cracked voice looking at herself in the mirror and picked up the pocket knife.