What About Love? Catthew (editing)

Chapter 16

Matt's POV:

I slid the cold blade a cross my skin once more remembering the words Taylor spat at me.

'You are discusting do us all a favor and get off this earth.'

This is the only way...

To ease my pain...

It was becoming harder and harder to cover up my scars because wearing a hoodie or long sleeve shirt all the time would be stupid and questionable, but I don't care

I sighed as I wash blood from my wrist.

Why can't I just have a normal life?

Why do I have to be a disgusting fag?

Why did I have to be in love with my best friend who is scared to be with me publicly?

Why me?

I lay down on my bed pulling myself into my sheets.

I still continue to lie to Carters face. Every time He asked that same question.

'Are you OK?'

It kills me to lie over and over again. I just want to look strong for him. And make him think that what they say never bothers me but it does. It really does.

I hear a quite knock on my door. "Matt.... Carter's here." She speaks. "Tell him I'll be right down." I response. I quickly get up and try to make it look I hadn't been crying.

"I'm heading too work ok?" She said. "Alright."

I pull my sleeve down I run down stairs giving him a smile. "Hey." He smiles. "Hey." I say back. "Come on up." I said heading up the stairs as he follow.

We sat on my bed. "Are excited?" He asked. "For what?" I say back. "Spring break Duhh."

I completely forgot about spring break. Every year when its was spring break all of the guys we'd go up to Aarons uncles beach house and have all ton's of crazy party's for the week.

It was pretty fun, But I can't go. How will I hide my scars if we have to go swimming? Its right on a private beach they share with the neighbors . I can go I'm just going say no.

"I don't really want to go." I say softly. I chuckled as if I was Joking. He the realised I wasn't. "Why not Matt we do it every year you love it. Its our last year in high school come on." He whined. I didn't have a good reason to bail. I open my mouth but nothing to say.

"That settles it your going." He said with a big smile. Fuck, I have to go now. I just won't swim and I bring all long sleeve shirt and my hoodie. He doesn't have to find out I won't let him.

"OK I'm going to go home and pack you should do the same we're leaving tomorrow morning." He cupped my cheeks and kissed my lips softly.

*Flutter*

"I love you." He whispered as he let my face go. "I love you too." I whispered back. "Bye." He said as he walked out my door God. I love that boy.

I signed going over to my dresser and get random clothes. I grabbed my suitcase from my closet and put the clothes inside.

**************************

We just finished packing everything into Cams and JJ car. "So, Carter, Matt, Aaron, Brent and Jacob can ride with me, and you take Jack, Kalin, Myles, Kian and Conner. " Cam said to JJ.

(Some of you might not know who all those guys are.)

"Okay, that sounds good." JJ said putting the last of the baggage in his trunk. "Okay so I think everyone should pee because we are not stopping until we get there." Cam told everyone.

After everyone did their business we all piled inside of the 2 vans. There we're three part to the van. Cameron and Jacob in the front, Aaron and Brent in the middle, and Carter and I in the back.

After everyone was settled we were on our way. I put my headphones in my ear and close my eyes. I just want to get this ride over with. I hate being in a car for long periods of time. And it was a 3 hour drive to go the beach house. It was about 10 in the morning and I'm a little tired I only had about a good 2 hours of sleep.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I feel a hand on my thigh. I looked over to Carter who just smiles at me. He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Am I to close." He asked creeping his hand across my thigh.

I want to kiss him so bad but I fought the urge. I feel my face heating up fast.

"Stop." I whispered to him as his hand was incredibly close. Too close. "Why." He asked as he starts to palm me throw my pants. I smacked his hand away but it goes right back to the same spot. He unbuttoned my pants and pulled out my length. He softly stroked me up and down.

Oh my fucking god it feels so I good I don't want him to stop.

"Please." I whimper. I can't hold in my moan's. I coughed trying to cover them up. Carter chuckled. He's enjoying my pain. "You OK back there Matt?" Jacobs asked turning attention to me. "Uh...I-I'm f-fine." I manage to get out. He starts to stroke me faster and faster. I grabbed onto the rubber seats.

"Shit." I quietly moaned as I came all over his small hands. I breathed slowly trying to catch my breath and Carter wiped his hands off.

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Bye babes.