Beautifully Flawed

20. Perfectly Imperfect

Ours is an imperfect love, beautiful and pure. Let's embrace it.
—

Jimin

My body felt so relaxed. I could equate it to the feeling of waking up after getting a full body massage but this was even better. His arm wrapped around my waist so relaxedly made me feel so secure. I took his hand in mine and interlocked our fingers. I hadn't noticed how the size of our hands differed immensely and seeing it now made me smile at the comical difference. I admired his long perfectly formed slender fingers that had expertly and gently handled me the night before. The thought had me blushing like a fool.

I closed my eyes as the fresh memory of the pleasure he had given me swept over my body and I was aroused. Those fingers had taken me to heights of ecstasy I had never experienced my entire existence and I had felt it in every part of my body, even in places I never knew had sensation. It was a whole body experience – if such a thing existed.

Now looking at him, as the sun came in through the window bouncing off his beautiful skin, painting his eye lashes golden, I felt thankful. Not only had he had unlocked desires in me – good desires, crazy desires – but he had shown me so much love and tenderness. He had put my needs before his as he brought me to a place of trusting him completely. And now I just wanted to jump him and do sinful things to him.

He stirred in his sleep and this left his lips slightly open as soft snores escaped his mouth. Oh how I could kiss those lips. I wanted to swim in his divine sensuality and sexiness. I shook my head and tampered down the desires that threatened to take over. I was afraid that he had unlocked the sex fiend in me and I could not have enough of this man. This man that had come into my life and showed me what I was living for. This man that had shown me my worth, spelt it out in bold capital letters and spread them across the sky in every colour for all to see. If I wasn’t sore, I would have woken him in the most pleasurable way but I had to settle for walking away if I wanted to walk.  So, I slowly slipped out of his embrace and headed downstairs to make us some breakfast.

I needed to reciprocate the love, the affection, the many little thoughtful and beautiful things that he had done for me. I needed to show him that he was my light. Up until now, I had been on the receiving end of so much and I felt it was time for me to give back. I knew the pains of selfish love. I knew what it was like to be on the unfortunate side of a love that just took and never gave. I wanted him to know that he was loved just as much.

The smile on my face never left and even though my cheeks hurt a little, I was happy and no one would take that away from me. Slowly, I busied myself with making us breakfast. I was content. I was full. I was home.

The boy loved his waffles and berries so I thought heart shaped waffles covered in strawberries and caramel syrup would be a great way to start the day. Anyway, what the cheesiest yet nicest way to tell someone you loved them if not making heart shaped food thingies? I used my heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut up a selection of fruit – kiwi, mango, banana, strawberries, pineapple, apples and blueberries for the fruit salad.

Freshly squeezed juice, hot chocolate for him and coffee for me and finally, for a treat, some chocolate. It was all things he loved – he was my king and he deserved to be treated as such. Putting them together was as easy as breathing and as I did this I danced to the music. Somehow the song I had listened to over and over in the past hit different this morning. It made me feel some typa way... the good kind.

I couldn't remember paying attention in the past to the little things that Dae-Hyun liked. Well I tried but it didn't come as easy as it did when I was with Jungkook. I started to think that by being in a relationship with him I was compensating for something – maybe for not loving myself enough or for not thinking that I was worthy of love. I sought happiness and love in someone else first rather than in myself first. Thinking about that bastard now would only ruin my day and my perfectly awesome mood and so, I decided to push him out of my mind and filled my mind with good thoughts and things – especially the thoughts of the extremely delicious ‘thing’ asleep in my bed upstairs and that was the only thing I cared about.