Beautifully Flawed

33. An Ode to You

Love, I hope you love yourself enough
to know you deserve only the best.
I pray you love yourself enough
to understand what giving love is all about.
—

Jimin sat on the balcony that led from their bedroom. The early morning was the dominion of the birds. Birdsongs filtered through the air like jazz, softly floating and free; notes never written dancing as steps never taught. Each sound-bouquet came as a sculpture, one that only came from soul born to an infinite horizon, never tainted by the cruelty of a cage. With closed eyes, he imagined their music to be colors, painting stairs in the same way grapevines grow - this way and that, in a beautiful chaos that wasn't quite random. In the calm of the dawn, his heartbeat was the steady drum to their melody and he seeped into the moment, allowing himself to climb those rainbow stairs. Pink clouds with hues of orange scattered the sky like new roses of the season had blossomed in the morning sky and the quiet sounds of traffic soothed his senses and made him relax further into the teardrop swing chair as he aimlessly swung back and forth. The gentle morning wind blew over his skin like his lover’s caress and made his chest expand with fondness for the vision that was his man sprawled on top of their king size bed.

From where he was seated, he had a perfect view him. The messy mop of curls on his head made him look so innocent and sexy as he slept. The silk white sheets pooled in between his legs did nothing to cover his gorgeousness and saliva pooled in Jimin’s mouth at the sight. He watched him sleep – chest rising from breathing with gentle snores escaping his soft tender lips. There were so many questions that swarm in his pretty little head and the one that remained at the top of the list is, how did he get so lucky? He knew that not so many people are so lucky in love – he had been there. All he knew was that he was grateful and he wouldn't trade that for anything. Jimin wanted to crawl back in bed and cuddle or wake him up for some morning fun but he decided against it. Memories of their passionate night came back to him in pictures and he couldn’t help the heat that crept up his cheeks.

His house was no longer a lonely place.

He looked into the distant sky and watched the sun rise across the skies and painted a beautiful picture across the sky. He smiled and the comings of a beautiful day and the promise that came with the bright morning sky.

The big day was here, in a few hours, Jin would be proposing to Namjoon. This was going to be a big step into their forever and he was more than happy for them. He found his mind wandering to their future. Would such a time come for him? Lord knows the wounds of his last ‘engagement’ were still so fresh. The anticipation he had, the excitement and the castles he built in the air only to be squashed by the people he loved the most – his boyfriend and supposed best friend. His jaw clenched and nose flared at the memory and it filled him with caution and doubt. But… he would not dwell on that. He was over it – doesn’t mean that it did not sting. He knew this was different. He was not one to believe in soulmates before but had this feeling deep down that Jungkook was his destined. Dae-Hyun wasn’t even half the man Jungkook was.

“Each day at a time,” he whispered into the wind. “Each day at a time.”

Quietly, he tip toed around to his bedside table and pulled his diary from the bedside cabinet. It had been a while since he penned down his thoughts and this morning he was feeling particularly inspired. He pulled the office chair by his study desk and gracefully sank into the leather seat. He flicked the switch on the table lamp seated in the corner of his desk. He had a thing for soft lights and unique lamps. This one was a gift from Jungkook. The sleek silver angle-poise lamp was simple and elegant - minimalist. It was moveable like the arm of a robot on a car assembly line, able to throw its beam of light in any direction. He smiled at the memory of when he received the gift and how excited he had been when Jungkook presented it to him. Jungkook knew him so well. He knew that Jimin did not need grand gestures to feel loved – the simple things spoke volumes.