After Everything

EMERY

I wake up to mum on the floor with a pillow and blanket, I feel bad she didn't need to stay here with me but yet again I don't blame her, she probably doesn't trust me. I leave to wash myself after what happened yesterday. I have a hot realxing shower thinking that no one will understand the pain I am feeling even if it's mum, she is like my best friend if I have a problem I would go to her. The worst thing is I can't tell Auden, we tell each other our deepest secret and don't say a word to our parent but this is different. Everyone says I'm a daddy's girl and I agree, I'm so close to him. Its always is two if I can't tell mum or auden which is rarely but still alot. I could never share this to him, he would flip out, they all will. Uncle landon said I smoked weed, which i admit to it but there is a reason to that. I feel guilty not sharing my secret but I'm glad I haven't. "Emery? Harding where's Em!" I can hear my mum shouting to my dad. I don't speak until I hear a knock on the bathroom door "Em, is it you?" My dad asks. I answer back by saying "Yes it is...daddy...its em." I whisper wondering if they can hear me. Calling him daddy brings me back to memories where I used to be an innocent girl that never used to be in trouble where used it to live in a happy family not in a messed up one. "Darling be quick and don't cry." My dad says calmly. I wipe my tears not knowing I was sobbing. I turn the shower off and head to my room with a towel wrapped around me. I dry my body and hair. I do a simple make-up making sure to cover my dark circles. I changed into a simple summer dress like i used to before all this shit happened to me.

"Can I come in?" Auden askes me closing the door behind him, I reply with "your already in" I laugh and he nudges me with his elbow. "You know what I mean I just wanted to ask if your okay." My younger brother askes me. "Yeah I am fine and I'm sorry for yesterday I didn't know what I was doing but I want to be my old self." I tell him and he looks at me in confusion "No don't be your old self, you going back to the past won't benefit you or us just find your new yourself, and you easily can change some stuff that you don't like now, making you...YOU."
I take his words and begin hug him sometimes it's nice having someone talking to you even if they are younger. I open my mouth to tell him what happened but he says "I missed you Emmie." Reality comes back when I realised j was going to reveal something to him I know I will regret. My heart sinks when he called me Emmie, he could never say my name properly so that's how he used to pronounce my name. The fact that he missed me even though I was gone for less than a day tells me not to repeat my mistake. "Me too." I say

We leave my room to go in the dining because mum and dad called us to eat breakfast. "You alright Emery?" My mum asks my "Yes I am perfect." I reply back hoping they would easily forget what happened yesterday but I know they won't let go. Dad tells me "That's good to hear dear but dont you think-." He ended getting cut off by mum glaring at him. "I made pancakes and maple syrup specially for you!" Mum changes the subject, I only have pancakes and maple syrup if it's my birthday But it isn't my birthday, they are treating me like a 5 year old, being nice to me, giving me what I want. I push these thoughts away and just nod at them while pouring some syrup on my pancakes. We finished eating and I can see my parents worried face, eager to ask me what I was doing. "You know it's fine, could you stop acting different towards me. I am sorry for leaving and smoking weed but I promise I won't do it ever again!" I snap at the top of my lungs. Mums face look like I said something she didn't know, I turn to see dads face buried in his hand and auden looking back and forth between me, mum and dad. Oh Fuck she didn't know I smoked, uncle landon only told dad...SHIT! before I knew it I ran it to my room, locking it so no one has access to come in.

I begin to sob, crying like a baby. I can hear my parents arguing. The day has only started and they are fighting, about me though...i am the problems of this family, they all know it but none is admitting it, they don't want to hurt me yet I've hurt them multiple times intentionally. I knew I would affect them but I didn't care I just cared for myself, that's how much of selfish person I am.

It's hard for me to understand but I heard my mum saying to dad "She smoked weed? You didn't even tell me Hardin! How could you keep this secret away from me, huh." My dad argued back "I didn't keep it away from you, I was going to tell you But you were with her sleeping when I found out and today just began I didn't want to put this bombshell on you!" That's all I heard because afterwards they shut the door behind them.
There was a light knock at my door, I opened it, auden giving me a hug.

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Guess what I'm on 2 on #before it's crazy I love you guys

Can you read my new book, it would be a pleasure I've been working on this for moths and it is nearly completed however I am only posting a chapter each week if you guys enjoy It! I published the first chapter and it is a Herophine book so Hero and Josephine like you all asked for.  Exciting news I am doing a collaboration with Riverdale so I will be making a fan fiction about it obviously with Hero and Josephine in the book. Tell me what you guys want to read next, It could be in this book or my newly released one OUR THOUGHTS and tell me wjat you wamt the collab book to he called, im still figuring it out. If any of you guys can do a book cover reach out to me, i need help, my civers are to simole and boring. I love you so much you don't even understand I appreciate your help in this journey. Remember to follow me so you won't miss an update!!