A Way Back Home | Adopted by Gerard Way (Book Two)

2/2 House of Memories (41)

Gerard's POV

I haven't felt this low in a long, long time. It's like when Eve left she took a piece of me with her, something in my chest, and it leaves me feeling hollow. Empty. Lindsey's warm hand squeezing mine can't even distract me from how broken I feel. I can't even bring myself to comfort her, as tears drip slowly from her eyes while she gazes down the road along with everyone else.

Nothing feels real. The memory of the car that's now out of sight is hazy, like it was never really there. But it was and I'm still staring at the place it used to be parked.

I thought nothing felt real when Evelyn first entered my life. I felt elated. Like I was walking on clouds. The thought of living the rest of my life with this kid in it was my idea of perfect. Growing up, I could never see myself settling down, getting married, and much less raising a child of my own. She managed to make that intangible idea— one I rejected for myself for so long, even thought I didn't deserve— a reality. Now, all the moments I was looking forward to witnessing or even guiding her through, all the lessons I wanted to teach her, all the memories I wanted to make with her...

All cut short.

All I ever wanted to do was protect her. She'd already gone through so much by the time I met her, too much for a thirteen year old. The fact that she could never see how strong she was is baffling. But I failed time and again at my goal.

First, there was the time she had a panic attack only three weeks after she moved in.

The guys had just left after a jam session. They told me to say goodnight to Eve for them. So, I went upstairs, and knocked lightly on her bedroom door saying, "Evelyn? You in there? The guys just left."

When she didn't respond I got worried. She was probably just asleep, but something felt off, so I decided to open the door and peek in to make sure she was alright. "Eve? Oh my God, are you okay?" She was hugging a pillow so tightly I thought it might burst, sobbing into in. I rushed over to her immediately.

She didn't acknowledge me. She might not even have noticed I was there.

"Hey hey hey, Eve? Eve, look at me." My urgent and worried plea did the trick and she pulled the pillow away from her face. Her eyes were bloodshot like she'd been in here crying for a while now while I was in another room enjoying myself. I felt sick with guilt.

She sat up weakly, avoiding my eyes.

"Come here, Evelyn," I said, wanting to pull her into a hug, not really knowing what else to do but desperately wanting to make her stop hurting.

"N-no, please... please don't touch me," she choked out.

I almost start to say, "What?" but when I realized what she said, I backed off. I was forced to watch, powerless, as she brought her knees up to her chest, burying her head in them. Her crying only intensified, her breathing scarily quick, and I was riddled with terror that it was all my fault.

Next there was the time she got beat up at school and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"What even happened in the first place?" I asked, brushing hair from her face, wondering how this nurse could be so calm when a girl just passed out in front of her. Evelyn had a bad scratch under her eye and a trail of dried blood coming from her nose.

"She was found in the bathroom by a student," the nurse explained, putting a cold cloth on her forehead and wiping away the rest of the blood. "We're not sure who did it; no one witnessed anything."

"When I figure out who did this..." I mumbled, not loud enough for her to hear me. Then, I saw Eve's eyes flutter open. I needed to stay calm for her sake. "Hey, Eve," I said gently.